Mst3k SquareOffs

50%
Horrors of Spider Island WINNER

25

50%
Future War

28

50%
Horrors of Spider Island

25 Comments
Jackson Munden
2
Jackson Munden

This is the last episode of Mike's green jumpsuit.

Reply
Stacy Mclinn
1
Stacy Mclinn

Low on spider, high on bikini babes

Reply
Leslie Maryann Neal
1
Leslie Maryann Neal

I LOVE THIS EPISODE. Sexy ladies, a lame monster-- it's amazing.

Reply
Justin Wingate
1
Justin Wingate

The scenes involving auditioning and the boys turning into weird girls were fun.

Reply
Dan Hux
0
Dan Hux

Just a fun movie to riff on!

Reply
zeldman
0
zeldman

The sleaze! The cheese! But especially the sleaze. It’s one of those great early 1960s psychotronic films that’s actually bearable even without the riffing!

Reply
Shaun O'Leary
0
Shaun O'Leary

"I'm glad I put a porch in."

Reply
Aimee Wright
0
Aimee Wright

I prefer "horror" over "sci-fi". :)

Reply
Zack Podany
0
Zack Podany

I think they'll pull out of it.

Reply
Brian Jay
0
Brian Jay

Mmm, take a look at my good stuff, Nature!

Reply
Diana Psotka
0
Diana Psotka

Mainly because I can't stand Future War. Sorry... lesser of the 2 evils here.

Reply
Jeremy Leveille
0
Jeremy Leveille

Such a a good episode with great riffs

Reply
Kendi Sue Lawton
0
Kendi Sue Lawton

Dancers and spiders

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Eviliz
0
Eviliz

- leans back and crosses ankles.

Reply
James Jorden
0
James Jorden

Jerky editing and voluptuous (at least) babes. What's not to like?

Reply
Beardo Beatnick
0
Beardo Beatnick

More spiders ! Less future!

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Sean Garner
0
Sean Garner

Spiders & bikinis!

Reply
Troy Thomas
0
Troy Thomas

I just haven't seen this one as often.

Reply
Nathan Fisk
0
Nathan Fisk

Both episodes were weak as far as MST episodes go, but Spider Island is somewhat less weak than Future War so...

Reply
Kevin Smith
0
Kevin Smith

Cry ‘Gary’!!!

Reply
Phyllis Lanza
0
Phyllis Lanza

I cross my legs decisively in favor of Spider Island!

Reply
Ben
0
Ben

This is better than watching a fake van damm vs a clown boxing in a boxing ring

Reply

50%
Future War

28 Comments
Mike Aronow
2
Mike Aronow

I vote for Jean Claude Gosh Darn!

Reply
Mira Gutoff
2
Mira Gutoff

Thank you for not killing me.

Reply
Amber Scaggs
1
Amber Scaggs

"Battle of the guys who peaked in high school."

Reply
Crissty Hawkins
0
Crissty Hawkins

This movie is truly terrible!! I'm up for seeing how the gang makes fun of it again!

Reply
Jay Skillman
0
Jay Skillman

It isn't a war and it isn't the future, but who am I to complain?

Reply
Chuck Campbell
0
Chuck Campbell

Robert Z'dar rules!

Reply
Alexandrea Cyril Niell
0
Alexandrea Cyril Niell

Best Van Damme movie that doesn't feature Van Damme.

Reply
Ben Schmidt
0
Ben Schmidt

I used to be a nun too.

Reply
Newt Calkins
0
Newt Calkins

Always bet on Z'dar!

Reply
Andrew Gauer
0
Andrew Gauer

Jean claude gosh darn

Reply
Tiffany Fricke
0
Tiffany Fricke

I saw the "Whores of Spider Island" last night. Well, that's what my husband called 'em. Great fun, that movie, but moving on!

Reply
Howard Sauertieg
0
Howard Sauertieg

Let the awful quality of this movie sink in. Soak in it.

Reply
Casey Killingsworth
0
Casey Killingsworth

more stand out jokes

Reply
Xavier Whitley II
0
Xavier Whitley II

Jean Claude gosh darn

Reply
Paul Smith
0
Paul Smith

Because the future is some kind of goofy prequel to Rollergator. Or Rollergator is a goofy prequel to this. Or they’re both just goofy.

Reply
William Lane
0
William Lane

Two words: FRED. BURROUGHS.

Reply
Corey Core Grundstein
0
Corey Core Grundstein

This is one of my all time favorite episodes so I have to go with Future War!

Reply
Dan Kelly
0
Dan Kelly

Jean Claude Gosh Darn

Reply
Troy Wood
0
Troy Wood

Horrors of Spider Island is okay, but all the actor's faces are way too small.

Reply
Ryan Barker
0
Ryan Barker

Thanks for playing reporter and cameraman with me

Reply
Andy Mayo
0
Andy Mayo

We need more high school jocks making movies.

Reply
Nick Kocurek
0
Nick Kocurek

Z'don't ask me why.

Reply
Not Billehecka
0
Not Billehecka

getting exhausted from "Horrors .."

Reply

62%
The Sinister Urge WINNER

23

38%
Gunslinger

16

62%
The Sinister Urge

23 Comments
Jackson Munden
1
Jackson Munden

Pinking Shears!!

Reply
Chris CK Felix
1
Chris CK Felix

This is the hardest vote so far!

Reply
Beardo Beatnick
0
Beardo Beatnick

Always bet on ed wood. Can't go wrong

Reply
Howard Sauertieg
0
Howard Sauertieg

Sinister Urge is a priceless Wood-work.

Reply
Sean Garner
0
Sean Garner

I'd go with it.

Reply
Casey Killingsworth
0
Casey Killingsworth

this one is funnier to me

Reply
Chuck Campbell
0
Chuck Campbell

Darn that smutty ol' smut!

Reply
Justin Wingate
0
Justin Wingate

Ed Wood still got it (or not).

Reply
Phyllis Lanza
0
Phyllis Lanza

Ed Wood! Ed Wood!

Reply
Troy Thomas
0
Troy Thomas

Ed Wood is a better filmmaker than Roger Corman, frankly. Ed's movied have a sense of personality, and are a joy to watch. Which is much more than you can say for Corman.

Reply
Mike Aronow
0
Mike Aronow

Once in a great while, a character jumps off the screen and into our collective consciousnesses. This vote is for....Klein!!!

Reply
Daniel Laird
0
Daniel Laird

Because Kline!

Reply
James Jorden
0
James Jorden

The gravel-voiced pornographess!

Reply
Candy Allison
0
Candy Allison

Such an underrated gem

Reply
Steven Aloyisus Campbell
0
Steven Aloyisus Campbell

Ed Wood gives us all the Sinister Urge!!!!!!

Reply
Linda Saper
0
Linda Saper

Ed Wood movies practically beg to be riffed!!

Reply
Cesar Smith
0
Cesar Smith

We can all relate to the sinister urge, can't we ?

Reply
Mira Gutoff
0
Mira Gutoff

Because Crow saying, baffled, that pornography isn't as bad as murder is one of the funniest moments in the whole show.

Reply
Mar K Muller
0
Mar K Muller

Ed Wood. nuff said.

Reply
Brian Jay
0
Brian Jay

Never bet against Ed Wood.

Reply
Todd Divel
0
Todd Divel

both are great

Reply

38%
Gunslinger

16 Comments
Paul Smith
1
Paul Smith

Beverly Garland. That’s the whole comment.

Reply
Troy Wood
1
Troy Wood

There aren't nearly enough westerns on MST3K. 'Last of the Wild Horses' is my favorite, but 'Gunslinger' runs a close second.

Reply
Ryan Barker
1
Ryan Barker

One word: Beverly

Reply
Tiffany Fricke
0
Tiffany Fricke

Beverly Garland? Really?

Reply
Andrew Gauer
0
Andrew Gauer

Better than sin urge

Reply
Michael Kilgore
0
Michael Kilgore

Too few movies dare to put door hinges on the wrong side.

Reply
Leslie Maryann Neal
0
Leslie Maryann Neal

I love both these episodes, but Beverly Garland is one of my favorite actors in MST.

Reply
wthvideoproduction
0
wthvideoproduction

Even though they have played a clip from Gunslinger a billion times on the Twitch channel, I love this Riff.

Reply
Philip Monihan
0
Philip Monihan

How could I turn down Beverly?

Reply
Bruce Turbeville
0
Bruce Turbeville

Beverly Garland gets my vote every time...

Reply
Nathan Fisk
0
Nathan Fisk

Ed Wood vs. Roger Corman? No one wins, but Corman at least makes a coherent movie. Ed Wood's stuff is unwatchable.

Reply
Brian Walch
0
Brian Walch

"Copper tubing!"

Reply
Jeremy Leveille
0
Jeremy Leveille

Gunslinger is much funnier IMO

Reply
Joel McMurray
0
Joel McMurray

BECAUSE I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT IN MY HALL! *hic*

Reply

67%
Pod People WINNER

38

33%
The Girl in Lovers Lane

40

67%
Pod People

38 Comments
Mike Stephens
0
Mike Stephens

This is the episode I "started" with. I watched MST3K as a kid, forgot about it, and got reminded of it with some tapes from a thrift store. This was the first one my sister and I watched.

Reply
Benjamin Hom
0
Benjamin Hom

It's not about Pods. It's not about People. It's all about Pain.

Reply
Terrible D
0
Terrible D

Hideous control.

Reply
Cesar Smith
0
Cesar Smith

I'm a pod person and I'm speaking my truth.

Reply
Mar K Muller
0
Mar K Muller

podolododingdong

Reply
Stephen Bradford Doherty
0
Stephen Bradford Doherty

It stiaaaahhh, you know.

Reply
Justin Wingate
0
Justin Wingate

It still stinks!

Reply
Todd Aaron Dennis
0
Todd Aaron Dennis

It was my first MST3K episode.

Reply
Xavier Whitley II
0
Xavier Whitley II

Trumpy you do stupid things

Reply
Molly Hansen
0
Molly Hansen

Grumpy, you can do stupid things!

Reply
Michael Schiavo
0
Michael Schiavo

Of course, because "It stinks!"

Reply
Denise Litostansky-Crawford
0
Denise Litostansky-Crawford

Pod people got no reason to smile. Gotta vote for my very first episode. It was what made me fall in love with MST3K.

Reply
Jim Bunch
0
Jim Bunch

Because I do stupid things

Reply
Joe Mason
0
Joe Mason

I used have a snout-nosed pal of my own.

Reply
Derek Smith
0
Derek Smith

I have spoken! Er, typed, no wait clicked! Yeah! I have clicked! CanI have a cookie now?

Reply
Matthew Finch
0
Matthew Finch

Sorry, got to go with Pod People. I was hoping for these two in the finals. Maybe Hellcats will show up??? Oh I hate to shoot a butt like that...

Reply
TJ Hayes
0
TJ Hayes

Pod People is in my top 5 MST3K episodes, one of Joel's funniest.

Reply
Joshua Christenson
0
Joshua Christenson

Little winged potatoes

Reply
Michael Kilgore
0
Michael Kilgore

Pod People gives you several loosely connected movies for the price of one.

Reply
Ricardo Silkworth
0
Ricardo Silkworth

Because Trumpy is magic... duh

Reply
Gregory Lannom
0
Gregory Lannom

Because it doesn't stink!

Reply
Chuck Campbell
0
Chuck Campbell

Because I don't want Trumpy doing stupid magic things in my house because I didn't vote for him.

Reply
Joe Nevarez
0
Joe Nevarez

Trumpy you can do stupid

Reply
Joseph Shenk
0
Joseph Shenk

Pretty sure Pod People was one of the first episodes i saw so it holds a special place in my heart... and haunts my dreams to this day... :)

Reply
Howard Sauertieg
0
Howard Sauertieg

I've seen Pod People too many times, but Girl in Lovers Lane is a bummer so I won't vote for it.

Reply
Rob
0
Rob

Love pod people

Reply

33%
The Girl in Lovers Lane

38 Comments
Uncle Fezter
2
Uncle Fezter

It's not only my favorite episode- it's also damn-near perfect. Every riff's a solid hit, host segments are fantastic- The Train Song, and "I... Am... The E-Lam!", to the bots rewriting the ending.

Reply
Jarret Cooper
2
Jarret Cooper

Are we bound for glory right now, Big Stupid?

Reply
Liam Humel
2
Liam Humel

a top 5 episode for me, makes me wish we had a better rail system in the US so I could become a hobo

Reply
Jackson Munden
Uncle Fezter
Uncle Fezter

'Sex Poodle' "...What about that guy I groined in the knee?"

Linda Saper
1
Linda Saper

Cause I love my ruffled yellow dress!

Reply
Mike Aronow
1
Mike Aronow

Great matchup! While I love Pod People more, I'll give my vote to Big Stupid for a change. Danny and Big Stupid deserve their moment in the sun!

Reply
Uncle Fezter
Uncle Fezter

It brought us "groinocological region", "...And that's pretty good!"

Chad Bailey
1
Chad Bailey

Showing some love for Big Stupid

Reply
Casey Killingsworth
1
Casey Killingsworth

An underrated choice

Reply
Jason Russell
0
Jason Russell

The first episode I sat down to watch entirely...so I could understand what this thing was

Reply
Mike Ensing
0
Mike Ensing

Close but the episode # matched my house # at the time

Reply
Gregory Kanis
0
Gregory Kanis

Big Stupid! A tough decision but that's where my heart is.

Reply
Nathan Fisk
0
Nathan Fisk

Girl in Lover's Lane is a solid riff movie, but this is a close contest. Pod People is also good.

Reply
Shay Kay
0
Shay Kay

"The way I see it, there's three of them and ONE of YOU!" Ha ha ha ha !! Go Big Stupid!

Reply
Mark Coghlan
0
Mark Coghlan

Say no to trumpy

Reply
Beardo Beatnick
0
Beardo Beatnick

Big stupid would have wanted it.plus...ww get paid PEOPLE EVERY TURKEY DAY MARATHON! GIVE IT A REST!

Reply
Bo Frye
0
Bo Frye

Pod people is great,but overdone, give big stupid a chance!

Reply
cub
0
cub

because she always goes in the same little spot

Reply
Ben
0
Ben

Big Stupid Is better than Trumpy!

Reply
Steven Aloyisus Campbell
0
Steven Aloyisus Campbell

I honestly don't remember this one. Must have left my brain in lover's lane. Need to see. Pod People is a good one, but give me The Girl In Lovers Lane!

Reply
Barry Ward
0
Barry Ward

One I've never seen :/

Reply
Tiffany Fricke
0
Tiffany Fricke

My favorite. The guys are at their funniest riffing this one!

Reply
Carrie Tilley
0
Carrie Tilley

Big Stupid +Danny = OTP

Reply
Dee Schendel
0
Dee Schendel

This movie actually makes me sad, but oh my gosh, the riffs are great! Crow is on a roll here! I'm sure Pod People will win, but I would love to see something different.

Reply
Marty Ketola
0
Marty Ketola

Everyone has seen Trumpy. Not everyone knows the brilliance of Big Stupid!

Reply
Troy Thomas
0
Troy Thomas

This is the episode I Accuse My Parents should be, but isn't. This is a juvenile delinquency melodrama with a pulse, and the riffs are actually hysterical.

Reply
Kevin Smith
0
Kevin Smith

My vote’s with Danny

Reply
Myrrh Kingwell
0
Myrrh Kingwell

Heck yeah! I love this episode!

Reply
Sierra Rein
0
Sierra Rein

I haven't seen this one in a while!

Reply
William Lane
0
William Lane

I embrace any reason to downvote Trumpy, but also Big Stupid told me to.

Reply
Jim Simpson
0
Jim Simpson

Because Jack Elam plays the best "troubled character" in town!

Reply
Phyllis Lanza
0
Phyllis Lanza

"Are you waitin' on a bus?" This is one of those movies I enjoy even without the riffs (but the riffs make it better, of course).

Reply
Jeremy Leveille
0
Jeremy Leveille

A great episode, awesome riffs all the way through, so funny!

Reply
Candy Allison
0
Candy Allison

I know everyone is picking Pod People *yawn* but like give The Girl in Lover’s Lane a chance. It’s a solid episode and I really enjoy it. Give another episode a Turkey Day chance!

Reply

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