Official SquareOffs Page of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Currently featuring the Turkey Day Tournament 2022! Your votes will decide four of the episodes shown on this year's Turkey Day Marathon.
Which is your favored experiment?
MST3K Asked by MST3K
10/23/2020

Which is your favored experiment?

33%
Tormented

38

67%
The Touch of Satan WINNER

92

33%
Tormented

37 Comments
Paul Smith
3
Paul Smith

Why do I like it? Jazz, baby. Hot, steamy, non-corporeal, paranormal jazz. Why would you want Beelzebub's caress when you can get cheeky with a detached woman whose name is a roman numeral. And jazz!

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Chuck Campbell
2
Chuck Campbell

Because "TOM STEWART KILLED ME!"

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Mike Aronow
1
Mike Aronow

This one was really tough. I love both episodes. But, Tormented never fails to crack me up. "Sessions presents!"

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Todd Divel
1
Todd Divel

this is the toughest one yet.

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Barbara L. LeMaster
1
Barbara L. LeMaster

It's actually a fun ghost story with some engaging characters.

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Allison Auld
1
Allison Auld

Can’t beat a good yeet off a lighthouse!! “Vi ask Vi?!?” 😂

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Andrew Gauer
0
Andrew Gauer

A less played option touch of Satan is pretty slow paced

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Luis Reyes
0
Luis Reyes

A battle of who was more obnoxious, the pesky little girl or the ghost of Vi.

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Chelsea McQuaid
0
Chelsea McQuaid

Pretty much sums up 2020

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Masque of the Redrua Death
0
Masque of the Redrua Death

One of the best films every Riffed

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Chris Hartman
0
Chris Hartman

Richard Carlson and Bert I. Gordon ... and Joel and the bots 'happy thoughts' song ...

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Anthony Rios
0
Anthony Rios

It's the only episode that has a jazz magician.

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Honest Jonn
0
Honest Jonn

Tom Stewart killed me! Tom Stewart killed me!

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Naggle Toof
0
Naggle Toof

What no croutons?!?! Vi Mason:)

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Dee Schendel
0
Dee Schendel

Tormented is one of my all-time favorites!

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Mary Clev
0
Mary Clev

It happens at the beach, and it is a fun little ghost story.

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Casey Killingsworth
0
Casey Killingsworth

I just liked "Tormented" better than "Touch Of Satan"

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Eddie J Miller
0
Eddie J Miller

Because I'm a New York method actor!

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Laurel Wilson
0
Laurel Wilson

Tom Stewart killed me!!

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Margaret K. Jordan
0
Margaret K. Jordan

So funny... one of my all-time favorite MST3K movies!

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Tony Rosales
0
Tony Rosales

That beatnik guy really grinds my gears.

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Andrew Brandt
0
Andrew Brandt

The jokes are funny, but there's close to a decent movie hiding in this one.

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Gretchen Crumpacker
0
Gretchen Crumpacker

Put her DOWN, Jerry Lee!

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Howard Sauertieg
0
Howard Sauertieg

This is a fun episode! Touch of Satan is good too but I think it's had more exposure than Tormented.

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Tamsin Parker
0
Tamsin Parker

"She's wearing today's paper."

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Alexandrea Cyril Niell
0
Alexandrea Cyril Niell

This is such a great episode and it never gets enough love. <3

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Marian Luther
0
Marian Luther

I'm cancelling out my daughter's vote. Love you anyway. <3

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Randall Newcomb
0
Randall Newcomb

I voted for this because it is not "The Touch of Satan"

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Mike Ensing
0
Mike Ensing

Slightly more coherent story

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John Manning Moore
0
John Manning Moore

This is one of the most watchable movies that’s being riffed, plus the explosion during the end credits cracks me up, every time. But, it was difficult to have to pick one as both deserve to advance.

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Troy Thomas
0
Troy Thomas

This was a tough one for the exact opposite reason of the first day's vote, as I'm not a tremendous fan of either episode. However, I just rewatched Tormented recently and laughed a lot, so I pick it.

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Tiffany Fricke
0
Tiffany Fricke

I almost saw this with my great grandmother. Almost. As soon as the footprints appeared in the sand, I said “I hear my mom calling,” and ran away. I suspect I’ll feel safer watching it with Joel.

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DataAngel Nine
0
DataAngel Nine

Tom Stewart killed me!

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Phyllis Lanza
0
Phyllis Lanza

You just can't beat floating heads and walking hands and seaweed. And Sandy! Why did you have to see it, Sandy? Wonder what kind of twisted movie she grew up to write.

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67%
The Touch of Satan

90 Comments
Nathan
8
Nathan

This is where my vote lives.

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Mike Aronow
Mike Aronow

Phenomenal comment.

Jackson Munden
6
Jackson Munden

Steffi The Babysitter!!

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Ben Murphy
Ben Murphy

Beez!!!

Joe Sanchez
5
Joe Sanchez

This is where the fish lives

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Josh Ryals
4
Josh Ryals

The walnut farming vs. pecan farming bit is one of my all-time favorite Satellite Of Love moments.

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Celena Hval
3
Celena Hval

Both are excellent but Touch of Satan is so delightfully weird and the riffs are stellar

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Benjamin Owen
3
Benjamin Owen

I'm kinda hungry, but I can't go back to the store after that "zaa" incident...

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Forrest L
3
Forrest L

“—and then he DIED! Hahahahaha!”

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Shannon Tobias
2
Shannon Tobias

Because this is where the fish lives, of course!

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Charlie Hinz
2
Charlie Hinz

Because it's where the fish lives

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Victoria Maille
2
Victoria Maille

This is where the fish lives.

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Josh Colletta
2
Josh Colletta

The Touch of Satan softens your hands while you do the dishes!

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Kevin Smith
2
Kevin Smith

Because The Touch of Satan softens your skin while it cleans!

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Britt Bisson
2
Britt Bisson

This sooong is in.... the public domain.... that’s whyyyy we used it twice....

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Josh Colletta
Josh Colletta

You can't use "Amazing Grace" in a devil movie!

Amber Scaggs
2
Amber Scaggs

I voted for "The touch of Satan". For the "This is where the fish live." bit.

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Nathan Smith
2
Nathan Smith

I just meant to ask him in for pie, I don't know what happened...

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Debbie Noonan
1
Debbie Noonan

Ohhhh... Look at the blood!

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Travis Huffman
1
Travis Huffman

If I don’t find out where the fish lives, no Thanksgiving for ANYONE!

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Sara Lipowitz
1
Sara Lipowitz

I'm into walnut ranching, what can I say?

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William Manley
1
William Manley

“Is that your car? Mind if I skip rocks across it?”

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Bertram Thorpe
1
Bertram Thorpe

Ugh, it's just so .....poorly written & bizarre. "This is where the fish lives."...That's the highlight....and their weird on-screen chemistry....Jodie seems like a eunuch, and...yeah, it's terrible.

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Dan Wiencek
1
Dan Wiencek

It's pretty, in a floppy, Rhoda way.

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Brandon Belch
1
Brandon Belch

Love that movie. "This is where the fish lives." Hahaha

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Greg Method
1
Greg Method

"Tormented" is a bit of an ordeal to get through. "Touch of Satan" is weird and pretentious in that lame early '70s art-house way. Plus, the episode has the one and only Beez as Steffi.

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Lillian Lasher
1
Lillian Lasher

I like be walnut farmers. They work so danger hard.

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Ashley Jo Verity
1
Ashley Jo Verity

Honestly I would watch this unriffed. Don't judge me.

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Nicole Loughran
1
Nicole Loughran

This is where the fish live.

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Corey Core Grundstein
0
Corey Core Grundstein

Because it softens your hands while you do the dishes.

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XxkngmnrnxX
0
XxkngmnrnxX

"IT's just 'A Toich of Satan' in your heart."

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Hilary Aronow
0
Hilary Aronow

I sure hope he said "Peanuts."

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Joshua Keene
0
Joshua Keene

That's where the fish lives!

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Ashley
0
Ashley

this is where the laughter lives.

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Hawk
0
Hawk

This is where the fish lives

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Raven Cain
0
Raven Cain

Because Beez rocks.

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Stacy Mclinn
0
Stacy Mclinn

I spent the whole movie laughing about the dishsoap joke in the first 5 seconds

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Justin Wingate
0
Justin Wingate

Love this episode, the first one I ever taped!

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Harry Sherman
0
Harry Sherman

It's got a Ford Maverick in it, just like I used to drive.

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🌊harasan
0
🌊harasan

No contest. This is one of the best.

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Christopher Nichols
0
Christopher Nichols

I love all the awkward and unusually long pauses in the movie dialogue. It's just such a bad movie, but the episode is hilarious to watch!!

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Jess Burke
0
Jess Burke

"this torment can't end forever" "you know that it can!" -- an apt description of 2020

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Wade Mintz
0
Wade Mintz

Who wouldn't vote for a touch of Satan?

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Kate Halleron
0
Kate Halleron

This was a tough one. I'd have liked both - they both have their charms.

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Kimberly Heiser
0
Kimberly Heiser

While not my favorite, the line “Also, ‘go packers’ but mostly ‘burn the witch’.” is my default response to any and all questions about my feelings on football.

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Greg Gancho
0
Greg Gancho

Tormented is so icky. What else do you do with a blackmailer or two? Whereas, the Touch of Satan is kinda wholesome. OK, there's the Devil and all that, but what else do you do with a lynch mob?

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E. G. Lowe
0
E. G. Lowe

We just don't see it enough!

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Bruce Turbeville
0
Bruce Turbeville

I'm looking at a fromacidal maniac!

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Aaron smith
0
Aaron smith

Because that's where the fish live.

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KozyTimeOnline
0
KozyTimeOnline

Walnut ranching is hard work

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Robert Webster Caldwell
0
Robert Webster Caldwell

If I have to hear “Tom Stewart Killed Me!” one more time, I may jump from an abandoned lighthouse.

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Jeff Oskins
0
Jeff Oskins

"Hold on. I'm getting a call from Margot Adler." I love that reference.

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Steve Dillman
0
Steve Dillman

Well hello, Tractor!

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Diana Psotka
0
Diana Psotka

The sweet, soulful sounds of, "Come sit with me, and satan, too. He's your friend and mine."

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David Iacovino Sr.
0
David Iacovino Sr.

I sure hope he said peanuts

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Linda Farmer
0
Linda Farmer

One of my all-time favorite episodes!! Literally have it memorized I watched it so often :-)

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Ben Murphy
0
Ben Murphy

Because it's where the fish lives. There, in the stream by the walnut ranch. You'd have to be a chromosidal maniac not to like this movie.

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Kelly Luck
0
Kelly Luck

I think Tormented is my least favorite episode.

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Sierra Rein
0
Sierra Rein

I love knowing where the fish lives.

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Terry Lehman
0
Terry Lehman

It was nice to see Herbert Von Karajan get some work

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Rob Gullo
0
Rob Gullo

Who DOESN'T have walnuts and peanuts at Thanksgiving?...he DID say peanuts, right?

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Emma Jochum
0
Emma Jochum

This one makes me laugh everytime I watch it.

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Starry Monroe
0
Starry Monroe

Both movies have their own standings. But..this one has way better riffs!!!!

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Rocco Stio
0
Rocco Stio

Love commissioner Gordon and his dolls!

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Dan Asnis
0
Dan Asnis

Stan is in the market for robots souls.

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jeff lingenfelter
0
jeff lingenfelter

One my favorites. The riffing is one of their best efforts.

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Eric Tacti
0
Eric Tacti

Team Mike, Bill and Kevin! And because you can sight see on your own time, Beelzebub!

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Dan O
0
Dan O

I never had the opportunity to see this episode before so it'd be nice to finally be able to catch it

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ZOMBIEDAWG
0
ZOMBIEDAWG

I havent see it before or at least not on MST3K

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Britt Whale
0
Britt Whale

The fish lives here...

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Jared Hutton
0
Jared Hutton

Just a touch is needed in your life

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Chris Tari
0
Chris Tari

One of my top favs that makes me laugh the most! "Hey! Beelzebub! Kali! And Lucifer!" XD

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Tim Mayer
0
Tim Mayer

Because this is where the fish lives

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j c
0
j c

How can you go wrong with a special guest appearance from the grody incestuous hillbilly from "Giant Spider Invasion?!" ZAH!

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Dakotacrat
0
Dakotacrat

It's where the fish lives.

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James Goodwin
0
James Goodwin

This is where the fish live.

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Zoltan Wilson
0
Zoltan Wilson

This is where the fish lives

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James Paparella
0
James Paparella

Today I didn't have a clear preference, so sorry Tormented fans, I went with the crowd on this one.

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John Harris
0
John Harris

Both episodes are good, but Touch of Satan looks ridiculous now that the Satanic Panic is thankfully long over, while Tormented is actually kind of effective, one of Bert Gordon's better efforts.

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Beardo Beatnick
0
Beardo Beatnick

Yes! Touch a touch a touch me!!!!

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Stelbert Stylton
0
Stelbert Stylton

I have seen Tormented one million times.

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Ken Gorski
0
Ken Gorski

Educational film that explains where the fish live.

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Which episode would you rather see on Turkey Day?
MST3K Asked by MST3K
10/1/2022

Which episode would you rather see on Turkey Day?

48%
Catalina Caper

7

52%
Horror of Party Beach WINNER

9

48%
Catalina Caper

Which episode would you rather see on Turkey Day?
7 Comments
Mary McDowell
1
Mary McDowell

This episode is a wonderful balance of energetic and dry. The riff deliveries are perfect in tone and cadence. The music in the movie ain't half bad either! I watch this episode to cheer myself up.

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Nathan Fisk
0
Nathan Fisk

Meh - still better than Party Beach.

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Kyle Stockton
0
Kyle Stockton

It's fun to watch people watch the movie get made.

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Ken Prasek
0
Ken Prasek

Creepy Girl! 'Nough said.

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Aaron Mastriani
0
Aaron Mastriani

Catalina Caper has been one of my favorite episodes since I first saw it!

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52%
Horror of Party Beach

Which episode would you rather see on Turkey Day?
9 Comments
🌻just🎃chris🍂
2
🌻just🎃chris🍂

The things that don't happen in Party Beach are more interesting than the things that do happen in Catalina Caper.

Reply
Douglas Solberg-Bell
2
Douglas Solberg-Bell

SODIUM. There, I said it.

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Jay Phelps
1
Jay Phelps

Because the Del-Aires need to be appreciated by today's generation for the musical juggernaut they were.

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Joseph Murdico
1
Joseph Murdico

It's a classic and is so campy!!

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Scott Armstrong
1
Scott Armstrong

This HAS to win! It's my desert island episode! Come on people, vote!

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Alex Flores
1
Alex Flores

Never invite Janis Ian to your slumber party!

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Kim VanHooser
0
Kim VanHooser

Sodium and Eullabelle...

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Amber Scaggs
0
Amber Scaggs

I don't know what to choose but I choose party beach

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MST3KaDay On Instagram
0
MST3KaDay On Instagram

Now it's down to the Winners vs. Winners rounds so we're going with the episode we enjoy more, "Horror of Party Beach" though it was a tough choice. "Creepy Girl" is hard to resist but ultimately "SODIUM!" won the day! "Sodium, won't you?" 😁

Reply
Which episode would you rather see on Turkey Day?
MST3K Asked by MST3K
9/29/2022

Which episode would you rather see on Turkey Day?

42%
Parts: The Clonus Horror

5

58%
Horror of Party Beach WINNER

16

42%
Parts: The Clonus Horror

Which episode would you rather see on Turkey Day?
5 Comments
One Opinion
1
One Opinion

This movie is one of the rare ones on MST3K: An actually decent movie!

Reply
William Lane
1
William Lane

Sodium. Arch-nemesis of the blood pressure of one Peter Graves, host of Biography. Which we will explore this week. On Biography.

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Erik David Even
0
Erik David Even

I am a big fan of movies that were later ripped off starring Scarlett Johanson.

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MST3KaDay On Instagram
0
MST3KaDay On Instagram

It's our favorite episode.

Reply

58%
Horror of Party Beach

Which episode would you rather see on Turkey Day?
16 Comments
Brian Jay
1
Brian Jay

One, and only one, character is dubbed for no reason! I mean, come on!

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Dave (Comedy) Gold
1
Dave (Comedy) Gold

Every party I've gone to at the beach has been a horror.

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Jeff Pomaybo
1
Jeff Pomaybo

tough one.... but, sodium, of course!

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Heather M Perkins
0
Heather M Perkins

It's not as depressing as Parts. Also, I love me some sodium on Turkey Day!

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Matt T.
0
Matt T.

Exxon training videos are always great!

Reply
Scott Armstrong
0
Scott Armstrong

My favorite episode. Period!

Reply
MarkBergster
0
MarkBergster

The romantic leads are played by siblings, the monsters look ridiculous, I like being told to look Polish, I'm capababull of despising the drunks, and the riffs are magical. Also, sodium.

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Jay Phelps
0
Jay Phelps

For the actress whose entire dialog has been obviously redubbed.

Reply
Kim VanHooser
0
Kim VanHooser

Sodium and Eullabelle...oh, and 40 year old "teenagers" at a slumber party !

Reply
Andy Hartmann
0
Andy Hartmann

Because, you ain't seen nothing 'til you see Tina swing. And that's some nothing.

Reply
David Brian Dobbs
0
David Brian Dobbs

Um, sodium? Need I say more?

Reply
Philip Monihan
0
Philip Monihan

It's the best episode that's come up in this pole.

Reply

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