Official SquareOffs Page of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Currently featuring the Turkey Day Tournament 2021! Your votes will decide four of the episodes shown on this year's Turkey Day Marathon.
Which is your favored experiment?
MST3K Asked by MST3K
10/23/2020

Which is your favored experiment?

38%
Swamp Diamonds

57

62%
Devil Fish WINNER

81

38%
Swamp Diamonds

57 Comments
Gabriel D
2
Gabriel D

What can I say? It's got a good short.

Reply
Matthew DeBarger
2
Matthew DeBarger

I like both, but this one hasn't been in circulation as often.

Reply
ANTIFA™ Inc. Regional Distribution Manager
2
ANTIFA™ Inc. Regional Distribution Manager

I need to learn what NOT to do on a date!

Reply
Robert Webster Caldwell
1
Robert Webster Caldwell

I write Golden Girls fan fiction, and I’ve always wanted a crossover with The Nardo gang.

Reply
Chris Cooke
1
Chris Cooke

Swamp Diamonds's short makes it all worth it. Half the time I enjoy shorts more than actual riffed films.

Reply
Hendo
1
Hendo

Beverly Garland. That is all.

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Steven Aloyisus Campbell
1
Steven Aloyisus Campbell

Because Devil Fish ate all the Swamp Diamonds!

Reply
Mike Aronow
1
Mike Aronow

OK, this is a tough one because the final freeze frame in Devil Fish is hilarious. But, I have to give it to Swamp Diamonds for the hilarious short, "What to Do on a Date."

Reply
Matthew Finch
0
Matthew Finch

Oh, bite me. It's fun

Reply
Luis Reyes
0
Luis Reyes

Who could forget the bravura performance of Touch (bka Mike) Connors?

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Not Billehecka
0
Not Billehecka

Just for the short alone.

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Justin Wingate
0
Justin Wingate

Yeah, I believe this is better.

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Chuck Campbell
0
Chuck Campbell

Beverly Garland and Marie Windsor--nothing else need be said.

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Michael T. Smith
0
Michael T. Smith

Beverly Garland at peak Beverly Garland

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Rob Gullo
0
Rob Gullo

I was thinking...I would have gone with "Batch" Conners

Reply
Starry Monroe
0
Starry Monroe

Better cast..better riffs!!

Reply
Kim VanHooser
0
Kim VanHooser

Hello? Beverly Garland! Feisty woman Rocks!

Reply
Jacob Flores
0
Jacob Flores

Ooooo,oooo Swamp Diamonds...

Reply
Ben Tobin
0
Ben Tobin

Rogue women get drunk and make shorts! Also kidnap a guy and commit murder! Swamp Diamonds!

Reply
Bill Covington
0
Bill Covington

Well, hell... I tried to change my vote! It's a close call, but I don't mind Roger Corman and Beverly Garland.

Reply
Robert Barger
0
Robert Barger

Beverly Garland. Nuff said.

Reply
Nathan Smith
0
Nathan Smith

Always choose the wiennie roast.

Reply
David Iacovino Sr.
0
David Iacovino Sr.

I never laughed so much...Fudge Connors, Scrod Connors

Reply
Scott A Burke
0
Scott A Burke

I've seen Devil Fish a million times. I don't think I've seen this one.

Reply
Kieran Cowan
0
Kieran Cowan

It's an underrated season 5 episode, and the movie is.. actually pretty fun.

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Matt Morrison
0
Matt Morrison

Beverly Garland in Daisy Dukes.

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Hilary Aronow
0
Hilary Aronow

Gotta go with "What to Do on a Date" - one of the show's funniest ever shorts.

Reply
Michael Schiavo
0
Michael Schiavo

Two words: Mike "Touch" Connors. Three words.

Reply
☀✌Teresa D. Lee🌺 PG-13 usually.
0
☀✌Teresa D. Lee🌺 PG-13 usually.

I guess I like women’s prison escape movies better than random buffalo shots. There’s something good about Devilfish that I don’t remember anymore because the triggering flash shot eclipses it.

Reply
Amber Scaggs
0
Amber Scaggs

I like the short "What to do on a date". And the host segments is pretty good.

Reply
Gretchen Crumpacker
0
Gretchen Crumpacker

Come on come on now TOUCH me babe! Can’t you see that I am not afraid?

Reply
Chuck Coshow
0
Chuck Coshow

Devil fish is painful to watch, while Mannix (Dah-dah-dah-DAH!) and Dodie make for good watching and riffs.

Reply
Phyllis Lanza
0
Phyllis Lanza

Strong female leads, duking it out in the swamp!

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Mark Schmidbauer
0
Mark Schmidbauer

Lucy and Viv in the Big House

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Kenneth E. Morgan
0
Kenneth E. Morgan

"Devil Fish" has good riffing, but the movie has a very poor attitude towards women.

Reply
Mary Clev
0
Mary Clev

Beverly Garland. The End.

Reply
Josh Ryals
0
Josh Ryals

I remember this as being a pretty good Joel episode. I liked Tom & Gypsy's date.

Reply
Lisamarie Babik
0
Lisamarie Babik

Two words: Beverly. Garland. *purrrrr*

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Paul Smith
0
Paul Smith

Touch. There’s a dude named Touch in it. And he’s not dubbed. And goofy lady wrestling. But mostly Touch Connors. Oh, and because Beverly Garland runs circles around any Fishy Devil actor.

Reply
☀✌Teresa D. Lee🌺 PG-13 usually.
☀✌Teresa D. Lee🌺 PG-13 usually.

Seconded! This again as always is a contest between male dominance and female empowerment.

Jon Attema
0
Jon Attema

A handsome man held captive by several beautiful escapees. I feel like this tells us more about Roger Corman than anything else he's done.

Reply
Gerald Hough
0
Gerald Hough

Basically because it has the best short in my opinion- What to Do On a Date.

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Casey Killingsworth
0
Casey Killingsworth

Eh, I voted for Mikes' episode yesterday and I was always a bit more partial to Joels' era anyway. Besides, I wasn't a huge fan of Devil Fish.

Reply
MST3K
0
MST3K

Swamp Diamonds includes iconic short, "What to Do on a Date." No contest.

Reply
Melissa Mlynek-Peplinski
0
Melissa Mlynek-Peplinski

I saw the movie poster with a woman holding a gun to a tied up man! Tacky!

Reply
Mikey Elms
0
Mikey Elms

Devil Fish is a snoozefest.

Reply

62%
Devil Fish

81 Comments
Robert Jindra
2
Robert Jindra

Just because you CAN edit, doesn't mean you SHOULD.

Reply
Bruce Turbeville
2
Bruce Turbeville

Because they are so obviously in Florida, America, where they drive pickup cars...!

Reply
Jonah Gregory
2
Jonah Gregory

"Underwater fight scenes are the drum solos of movies."

Reply
Barbara L. LeMaster
1
Barbara L. LeMaster

Because the line "just because you can edit doesn't mean you should" still makes me giggle. Plus, this is basically Sharktopus years before Roger Corman thought of the idea.

Reply
Ken Gorski
Ken Gorski

"just because you can edit doesn't mean you should" should be printed as large banners and hung on front of every college film school.

Jay Rambo
1
Jay Rambo

I missed going on a cruise in May, so this should make up for it, right?

Reply
Josh Colletta
Josh Colletta

As long as you don't mind the fresh Mrs. Dash air!

Newt Calkins
1
Newt Calkins

Iris Peynado as Sandra. Also, pssshhhhhttttt glug glug glug "electrician"

Reply
Troy Thomas
1
Troy Thomas

This one was much easier. Devil Fish is an underrated classic, while Swamp Diamonds is drab, dull and uninvolving. In other words, your average Corman episode.

Reply
John Gaines
1
John Gaines

Get your flamethrowers out, grab a stick of Juicy Fruit!

Reply
ThePeronah
1
ThePeronah

Two words: Buffalo Shot

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Ken Gorski
Ken Gorski

He's hanging out the old Evinrude,

Ben
1
Ben

A Beer Guzzling boat captain, a stupid monster based off jaws, and over dubbed Italians as people in Miami, what’s not to love ?

Reply
Joe Pipkin #SaveVentureBros
1
Joe Pipkin #SaveVentureBros

The first time the show got censored came out of left field!

Reply
Evan Schmalz
1
Evan Schmalz

I'm pleased at things

Reply
Jackson Munden
1
Jackson Munden

My very first episode of Mike hosting!!

Reply
Alicia Rodriguez
1
Alicia Rodriguez

The over the top plot makes the decision to vote Devil Fish super easy. "PETER FRAMPTON!"

Reply
Kali11CatsEye!
1
Kali11CatsEye!

I love goofy monster movies, even silly looking devil fishies....

Reply
Sean McDonnell
1
Sean McDonnell

The movie so nice they gave it a title card twice. It's just good dopey fun

Reply
Michael Pullmann
1
Michael Pullmann

Because I love a good Italian cheese.

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Ben Murphy
0
Ben Murphy

Click. Glug glug glug glug glug. Aaaah. Click. Glug glug glug glug glug.. Aaaaah. And all the beautiful Florida scenery.

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Ashley
0
Ashley

I feel European when I watch it.

Reply
Myrrh Kingwell
0
Myrrh Kingwell

This movie is so bad, it needs to be in the turkey day lineup just to keep a person humble

Reply
Raven Cain
0
Raven Cain

*psht* glug glug glug glug glug glug *psht* glug glug glug glug glug .... *psht* glug glug glug glug glug ... *psht*

Reply
Greg Gancho
0
Greg Gancho

Nothing in it makes any sense, in way that's fun and entertaining.

Reply
Eric Tacti
0
Eric Tacti

Team Mike, Bill and Kevin!

Reply
Jared Hutton
0
Jared Hutton

6 million dollar creeper

Reply
Wade Mintz
0
Wade Mintz

It's one I haven't seen

Reply
Eviliz
0
Eviliz

Swamp diamonds gives me leech flash backs

Reply
Paul Hyson
0
Paul Hyson

both are amazing, but this is the less well-known, and it is not Swamp Diamonds

Reply
Dan Asnis
0
Dan Asnis

Roger Corman is no match for the Italians when it comes to cheese.

Reply
Robert Shelley
0
Robert Shelley

Had a girlfriend who I now hate actually rented this movie before I saw it on MST 3K

Reply
Richard Cooney
0
Richard Cooney

Boy, am I in Florida.

Reply
Dan Wiencek
0
Dan Wiencek

Of course I am American and not Italian! I drive a truck!

Reply
Janie Davis
0
Janie Davis

i like this movie,and them guys are nuts.

Reply
Chris Labye
0
Chris Labye

Of course some America are not Italian I drive a truck

Reply
Ken Gorski
0
Ken Gorski

Guess I'm the 100 person to make the “just because you can edit" joke now I'm condemned to play Seaquest on an Atari with drink boat captains and mobbed-up doctors.

Reply
Lillian Lasher
0
Lillian Lasher

Oh, I suppose I'll accept a LITTLE bit of sex from you, go ahead."

Reply
Ashley Jo Verity
0
Ashley Jo Verity

Who doesn't like lab experiments gone horribly wrong?

Reply
jeff lingenfelter
0
jeff lingenfelter

No contest. Devil Fish by a mile.

Reply
Brian Murphy
0
Brian Murphy

Swamp Diamonds is currently on and I haven't seen Devil Fish in awhile.

Reply
E. A. Bruce
0
E. A. Bruce

Because we're from Europe! Heh heh... Hee hee... Hahaha haha...

Reply
Tim Swartz
0
Tim Swartz

Devil and fish. Two words when combined mean awesome movie.

Reply
Julian Kennedy
0
Julian Kennedy

I like the Italian... I mean Floridian ladies.

Reply
Beth Whitmore
0
Beth Whitmore

Mad scientists and blood thirsty monsters what could be better?!

Reply
Walt Fletcher
0
Walt Fletcher

Give me bad effects for a monster anyday

Reply
Wyldstaar Studio
0
Wyldstaar Studio

The failure of Italian knock-offs like Devil Fish are always entertaining. Swamp Diamonds was made early in Roger Corman's career, so he hadn't yet learned how to get the most bang for his buck.

Reply
James Paparella
0
James Paparella

Swamp Diamonds is tawdry and not weird enough for M st3k.

Reply
Elio Concepcion
0
Elio Concepcion

Because Florida is gross.

Reply
Leonore Bongert
0
Leonore Bongert

There's just something about the silliness of Devil Fish that makes it a joy to watch.

Reply
Susan N Sean Morath
0
Susan N Sean Morath

Because I dearly love the show and love this episode.

Reply
Nicholas Volosin
0
Nicholas Volosin

Because I can't eat swamp diamonds.

Reply
Alex Mckaie
0
Alex Mckaie

Fun crazy film with some great riffs.

Reply
Hawk
0
Hawk

Because this is where the fish lives (wrong episode I know, but it still fits)

Reply
Josh L
0
Josh L

Cause I voted for a Joel ep last time. All things in balance!

Reply
Awghost 5
0
Awghost 5

I just liked the episode better. It's not that deep.

Reply
P.J Quezada
0
P.J Quezada

For the Italian filter and dolphins in space ships.

Reply
Tiffany Fricke
0
Tiffany Fricke

I’ve never seen this one. Is it anything like the piranha one that Jonah did?

Reply
Mark Vidreiro
0
Mark Vidreiro

Tough one, but I enjoy this one better.

Reply
Last_Starfytr
0
Last_Starfytr

Comes down to a better movie if that makes any sense at all. The swamp diamonds women are so grating I can barely keep watching even with the hilarious riffing

Reply
Rebekah Nelson
0
Rebekah Nelson

"Just because you can edit doesn't mean you should."

Reply
KozyTimeOnline
0
KozyTimeOnline

Deep lucifered potatoes is now a family recipe.

Reply
j c
0
j c

My favorite Itloridian movie

Reply
Ricardo Silkworth
0
Ricardo Silkworth

Italians pretending to be a Floridians ... nuff said

Reply
Penny Wise the danceing clown
0
Penny Wise the danceing clown

Idk I just love mst3k the renewal

Reply
Howard Sauertieg
0
Howard Sauertieg

This is a fast moving and fun episode

Reply
Jean Thomas
0
Jean Thomas

Pleasant scenery, super funny!

Reply
Josh Colletta
0
Josh Colletta

I always get a kick out of one of my favorite school field trip destinations (the Miami Seaquarium) being used as the setting for a Eurofunny JAWS knockoff.

Reply
Zoltan Wilson
0
Zoltan Wilson

It's a solid film with terrible acting. I live it

Reply
Chelsea McQuaid
0
Chelsea McQuaid

Here, fishy fishy fishy

Reply
Which is the better episode?
MST3K Asked by MST3K
11/19/2021

Which is the better episode?

57%
Prince of Space WINNER

8

43%
Magic Voyage of Sinbad

8

57%
Prince of Space

Which is the better episode?
8 Comments
Philip Monihan
1
Philip Monihan

Hard pick, not gonna lie.

Reply
Mark Pergolizzi
0
Mark Pergolizzi

Prince of Space is one of my all-time favorite MST3Ks ever.

Reply
Sam Bissell
0
Sam Bissell

Prince of Space is a family favorite and we watch more than any episode, except for Samson vs the Vampire Women, which is pretty much tied with Prince of Space!

Reply
Shaun O'Leary
0
Shaun O'Leary

He's a prince. And of course i love chicken.

Reply
Ryan Barker
0
Ryan Barker

Your weapons are useless against me!

Reply
Andy Knudsen
0
Andy Knudsen

I love both these Riffs, Prince of Space is just a tiny bit better.

Reply
Erik David Even
0
Erik David Even

Of all the MST3K episodes where Earth is invaded by chicken-men, this is the best. Also, I became a bootblack because of this film. I like it very much.

Reply
William Lane
0
William Lane

Sinbad has no effect on this movie.

Reply

43%
Magic Voyage of Sinbad

Which is the better episode?
8 Comments
Will Blanchard
2
Will Blanchard

Love Prince of Space, but 505 is peak MST3K. Old-school style riff to be sure, but the warmth of the early years is in full bloom on this one with A+ sketches and even an in-theater stunt. Also, weird movie.

Reply
Llewellyn Buntminkey
1
Llewellyn Buntminkey

Russo Finnish madness!!! Wooohooo!!!

Reply
Howard Kistler
1
Howard Kistler

He travels all over the world and discovers the best place is home. It doesn't get much more Thanksgiving than that.

Reply
Jason Tamez
0
Jason Tamez

I'm not gonna lie, I'd rather have a technicolor nightmare than a dull black and white space caper.

Reply
Wendy Coffin
0
Wendy Coffin

hard choice because both are in my top 10. I chose this though because EVERYTHING Joel says in this ep is absolute gold

Reply
Paul S
0
Paul S

SOL-tie Award winning show!

Reply
Rebecca Brawley
0
Rebecca Brawley

For me, it's an oldie but goodie.

Reply
Victor Martinez
0
Victor Martinez

enjoy this one much more.

Reply
Which is the better episode?
MST3K Asked by MST3K
11/16/2021

Which is the better episode?

44%
The Brain That Wouldn't Die

13

56%
Prince of Space WINNER

30

44%
The Brain That Wouldn't Die

Which is the better episode?
13 Comments
Bruce Pullen
2
Bruce Pullen

Mike's finest hour. Ideally pithy and not too dour. The movie is something else yet the treatment beams through brightly.

Reply
Amy L. Sacks
1
Amy L. Sacks

"Mike is a very nice name."

Reply
Troy Sloan
0
Troy Sloan

You play this one less.

Reply
Robert Hornibrook
0
Robert Hornibrook

Cause its the first MST3k episode my wife ever saw.

Reply
Colleen Moriarity
0
Colleen Moriarity

This episode is far superior to Prince of Space.

Reply
Glenn St-Germain
0
Glenn St-Germain

Jan in the Pan! The monster in the closet! Horror and vintage slease in one tidy package.

Reply
Glenn St-Germain
0
Glenn St-Germain

Jan in the Pan! The monster in the closet! Horror and sleaze in one package!

Reply
Frank Gallagher
0
Frank Gallagher

I caught this movie on Creature Double Feature when I was way too young and it traumatized me

Reply
John Judge
0
John Judge

There's nothing like a "hero" who makes all the wrong choices.

Reply
Kim McAllister
0
Kim McAllister

A total MST classic!!!

Reply
Nicole Castro
0
Nicole Castro

It doesn't get enough love. Been my #1 favorite for many years.

Reply
LowKeeba
0
LowKeeba

“That’s not cheese” —Gypsy

Reply

56%
Prince of Space

Which is the better episode?
30 Comments
Philip Monihan
4
Philip Monihan

Your voting has no effect on me!

Reply
Adam Troy
1
Adam Troy

We like it very much!

Reply
Heather M Perkins
1
Heather M Perkins

Because he is the Prince. And he is of Space. And because I am a little tired of that other movie.

Reply
Amber Scaggs
0
Amber Scaggs

I find the ep funny as heck. And I like it very much.

Reply
Charlie M
0
Charlie M

Because those makeup effects are soooo dreamy

Reply
Ryan Nostrebor
0
Ryan Nostrebor

Mince, mince, mince...

Reply
John Abernathy
0
John Abernathy

Because not voting for Prince of Space, is for me, words that have no meaning. Though I just said them.

Reply
Matt Olfson
0
Matt Olfson

One of the all-time best and enduring episodes of MST3K!

Reply
Leah
0
Leah

I remember it being a lot of fun.

Reply
Ginger Fitts
0
Ginger Fitts

Oh! Ah! Prince of Space!!! Need I say more?

Reply
J. Lynn Else, Author
0
J. Lynn Else, Author

Vote for Prince of Space, or I'll throw my doll at you!

Reply
Matt Towler
0
Matt Towler

how many times must I say that I LIKE IT VERY MUCH

Reply
Robert Reimer
0
Robert Reimer

Because we like it very much.

Reply
Paul Moreau
0
Paul Moreau

WE LIKE IT VERY MUCH

Reply
David McDermott
0
David McDermott

His name is Prince of Space, and he is funky.

Reply
Doug Breese
0
Doug Breese

this experiment is why I add "ya scum" to the end of every sentence I utter... ya scum.

Reply
Mira Gutoff
0
Mira Gutoff

If Phantom Krankor cannot defeat the Prince, neither can Jan in the Pan.

Reply
Derek Smith
0
Derek Smith

I want in with the cool crowd.

Reply
Andy Knudsen
0
Andy Knudsen

Krankor over Jan in the Pan any Turkey Day!

Reply
Jason Tamez
0
Jason Tamez

Your neck juice cannot harm me, but scares the crap out of me anyway.

Reply
Kim VanHooser
0
Kim VanHooser

"Your weapons are useless against me! Har,har,har,har!"

Reply

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