Official SquareOffs Page of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Currently featuring the Turkey Day Tournament 2022! Your votes will decide four of the episodes shown on this year's Turkey Day Marathon.
Which is your favored experiment?
MST3K Asked by MST3K
10/23/2020

Which is your favored experiment?

38%
Swamp Diamonds

57

62%
Devil Fish WINNER

81

38%
Swamp Diamonds

57 Comments
Gabriel D
2
Gabriel D

What can I say? It's got a good short.

Reply
Matthew DeBarger
2
Matthew DeBarger

I like both, but this one hasn't been in circulation as often.

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ANTIFA™ Inc. Regional Distribution Manager
2
ANTIFA™ Inc. Regional Distribution Manager

I need to learn what NOT to do on a date!

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Robert Webster Caldwell
1
Robert Webster Caldwell

I write Golden Girls fan fiction, and I’ve always wanted a crossover with The Nardo gang.

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Chris Cooke
1
Chris Cooke

Swamp Diamonds's short makes it all worth it. Half the time I enjoy shorts more than actual riffed films.

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Hendo
1
Hendo

Beverly Garland. That is all.

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Steven Aloyisus Campbell
1
Steven Aloyisus Campbell

Because Devil Fish ate all the Swamp Diamonds!

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Mike Aronow
1
Mike Aronow

OK, this is a tough one because the final freeze frame in Devil Fish is hilarious. But, I have to give it to Swamp Diamonds for the hilarious short, "What to Do on a Date."

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Matthew Finch
0
Matthew Finch

Oh, bite me. It's fun

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Luis Reyes
0
Luis Reyes

Who could forget the bravura performance of Touch (bka Mike) Connors?

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Not Billehecka
0
Not Billehecka

Just for the short alone.

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Justin Wingate
0
Justin Wingate

Yeah, I believe this is better.

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Chuck Campbell
0
Chuck Campbell

Beverly Garland and Marie Windsor--nothing else need be said.

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Michael T. Smith
0
Michael T. Smith

Beverly Garland at peak Beverly Garland

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Rob Gullo
0
Rob Gullo

I was thinking...I would have gone with "Batch" Conners

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Starry Monroe
0
Starry Monroe

Better cast..better riffs!!

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Kim VanHooser
0
Kim VanHooser

Hello? Beverly Garland! Feisty woman Rocks!

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Jacob Flores
0
Jacob Flores

Ooooo,oooo Swamp Diamonds...

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Ben Tobin
0
Ben Tobin

Rogue women get drunk and make shorts! Also kidnap a guy and commit murder! Swamp Diamonds!

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Bill Covington
0
Bill Covington

Well, hell... I tried to change my vote! It's a close call, but I don't mind Roger Corman and Beverly Garland.

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Robert Barger
0
Robert Barger

Beverly Garland. Nuff said.

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Nathan Smith
0
Nathan Smith

Always choose the wiennie roast.

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David Iacovino Sr.
0
David Iacovino Sr.

I never laughed so much...Fudge Connors, Scrod Connors

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Scott A Burke
0
Scott A Burke

I've seen Devil Fish a million times. I don't think I've seen this one.

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Kieran Cowan
0
Kieran Cowan

It's an underrated season 5 episode, and the movie is.. actually pretty fun.

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Matt Morrison
0
Matt Morrison

Beverly Garland in Daisy Dukes.

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Hilary Aronow
0
Hilary Aronow

Gotta go with "What to Do on a Date" - one of the show's funniest ever shorts.

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Michael Schiavo
0
Michael Schiavo

Two words: Mike "Touch" Connors. Three words.

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☀✌Teresa D. Lee🌺 PG-13 usually.
0
☀✌Teresa D. Lee🌺 PG-13 usually.

I guess I like women’s prison escape movies better than random buffalo shots. There’s something good about Devilfish that I don’t remember anymore because the triggering flash shot eclipses it.

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Amber Scaggs
0
Amber Scaggs

I like the short "What to do on a date". And the host segments is pretty good.

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Gretchen Crumpacker
0
Gretchen Crumpacker

Come on come on now TOUCH me babe! Can’t you see that I am not afraid?

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Chuck Coshow
0
Chuck Coshow

Devil fish is painful to watch, while Mannix (Dah-dah-dah-DAH!) and Dodie make for good watching and riffs.

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Phyllis Lanza
0
Phyllis Lanza

Strong female leads, duking it out in the swamp!

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Mark Schmidbauer
0
Mark Schmidbauer

Lucy and Viv in the Big House

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Kenneth E. Morgan
0
Kenneth E. Morgan

"Devil Fish" has good riffing, but the movie has a very poor attitude towards women.

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Mary Clev
0
Mary Clev

Beverly Garland. The End.

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Josh Ryals
0
Josh Ryals

I remember this as being a pretty good Joel episode. I liked Tom & Gypsy's date.

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Lisamarie Babik
0
Lisamarie Babik

Two words: Beverly. Garland. *purrrrr*

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Paul Smith
0
Paul Smith

Touch. There’s a dude named Touch in it. And he’s not dubbed. And goofy lady wrestling. But mostly Touch Connors. Oh, and because Beverly Garland runs circles around any Fishy Devil actor.

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☀✌Teresa D. Lee🌺 PG-13 usually.
☀✌Teresa D. Lee🌺 PG-13 usually.

Seconded! This again as always is a contest between male dominance and female empowerment.

Jon Attema
0
Jon Attema

A handsome man held captive by several beautiful escapees. I feel like this tells us more about Roger Corman than anything else he's done.

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Gerald Hough
0
Gerald Hough

Basically because it has the best short in my opinion- What to Do On a Date.

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Casey Killingsworth
0
Casey Killingsworth

Eh, I voted for Mikes' episode yesterday and I was always a bit more partial to Joels' era anyway. Besides, I wasn't a huge fan of Devil Fish.

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MST3K
0
MST3K

Swamp Diamonds includes iconic short, "What to Do on a Date." No contest.

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Melissa Mlynek-Peplinski
0
Melissa Mlynek-Peplinski

I saw the movie poster with a woman holding a gun to a tied up man! Tacky!

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Mikey Elms
0
Mikey Elms

Devil Fish is a snoozefest.

Reply

62%
Devil Fish

81 Comments
Robert Jindra
2
Robert Jindra

Just because you CAN edit, doesn't mean you SHOULD.

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Bruce Turbeville
2
Bruce Turbeville

Because they are so obviously in Florida, America, where they drive pickup cars...!

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Jonah Gregory
2
Jonah Gregory

"Underwater fight scenes are the drum solos of movies."

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Barbara L. LeMaster
1
Barbara L. LeMaster

Because the line "just because you can edit doesn't mean you should" still makes me giggle. Plus, this is basically Sharktopus years before Roger Corman thought of the idea.

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Ken Gorski
Ken Gorski

"just because you can edit doesn't mean you should" should be printed as large banners and hung on front of every college film school.

Jay Rambo
1
Jay Rambo

I missed going on a cruise in May, so this should make up for it, right?

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Josh Colletta
Josh Colletta

As long as you don't mind the fresh Mrs. Dash air!

Newt Calkins
1
Newt Calkins

Iris Peynado as Sandra. Also, pssshhhhhttttt glug glug glug "electrician"

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Troy Thomas
1
Troy Thomas

This one was much easier. Devil Fish is an underrated classic, while Swamp Diamonds is drab, dull and uninvolving. In other words, your average Corman episode.

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John Gaines
1
John Gaines

Get your flamethrowers out, grab a stick of Juicy Fruit!

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ThePeronah
1
ThePeronah

Two words: Buffalo Shot

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Ken Gorski
Ken Gorski

He's hanging out the old Evinrude,

Ben
1
Ben

A Beer Guzzling boat captain, a stupid monster based off jaws, and over dubbed Italians as people in Miami, what’s not to love ?

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Joe Pipkin #SaveVentureBros
1
Joe Pipkin #SaveVentureBros

The first time the show got censored came out of left field!

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Evan Schmalz
1
Evan Schmalz

I'm pleased at things

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Jackson Munden
1
Jackson Munden

My very first episode of Mike hosting!!

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Alicia Rodriguez
1
Alicia Rodriguez

The over the top plot makes the decision to vote Devil Fish super easy. "PETER FRAMPTON!"

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Kali11CatsEye!
1
Kali11CatsEye!

I love goofy monster movies, even silly looking devil fishies....

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Sean McDonnell
1
Sean McDonnell

The movie so nice they gave it a title card twice. It's just good dopey fun

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Michael Pullmann
1
Michael Pullmann

Because I love a good Italian cheese.

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Ben Murphy
0
Ben Murphy

Click. Glug glug glug glug glug. Aaaah. Click. Glug glug glug glug glug.. Aaaaah. And all the beautiful Florida scenery.

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Ashley
0
Ashley

I feel European when I watch it.

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Myrrh Kingwell
0
Myrrh Kingwell

This movie is so bad, it needs to be in the turkey day lineup just to keep a person humble

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Raven Cain
0
Raven Cain

*psht* glug glug glug glug glug glug *psht* glug glug glug glug glug .... *psht* glug glug glug glug glug ... *psht*

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Greg Gancho
0
Greg Gancho

Nothing in it makes any sense, in way that's fun and entertaining.

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Eric Tacti
0
Eric Tacti

Team Mike, Bill and Kevin!

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Jared Hutton
0
Jared Hutton

6 million dollar creeper

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Wade Mintz
0
Wade Mintz

It's one I haven't seen

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Eviliz
0
Eviliz

Swamp diamonds gives me leech flash backs

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Paul Hyson
0
Paul Hyson

both are amazing, but this is the less well-known, and it is not Swamp Diamonds

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Dan Asnis
0
Dan Asnis

Roger Corman is no match for the Italians when it comes to cheese.

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Robert Shelley
0
Robert Shelley

Had a girlfriend who I now hate actually rented this movie before I saw it on MST 3K

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Richard Cooney
0
Richard Cooney

Boy, am I in Florida.

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Dan Wiencek
0
Dan Wiencek

Of course I am American and not Italian! I drive a truck!

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Janie Davis
0
Janie Davis

i like this movie,and them guys are nuts.

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Chris Labye
0
Chris Labye

Of course some America are not Italian I drive a truck

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Ken Gorski
0
Ken Gorski

Guess I'm the 100 person to make the “just because you can edit" joke now I'm condemned to play Seaquest on an Atari with drink boat captains and mobbed-up doctors.

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Lillian Lasher
0
Lillian Lasher

Oh, I suppose I'll accept a LITTLE bit of sex from you, go ahead."

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Ashley Jo Verity
0
Ashley Jo Verity

Who doesn't like lab experiments gone horribly wrong?

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jeff lingenfelter
0
jeff lingenfelter

No contest. Devil Fish by a mile.

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Brian Murphy
0
Brian Murphy

Swamp Diamonds is currently on and I haven't seen Devil Fish in awhile.

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E. A. Bruce
0
E. A. Bruce

Because we're from Europe! Heh heh... Hee hee... Hahaha haha...

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Tim Swartz
0
Tim Swartz

Devil and fish. Two words when combined mean awesome movie.

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Julian Kennedy
0
Julian Kennedy

I like the Italian... I mean Floridian ladies.

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Beth Whitmore
0
Beth Whitmore

Mad scientists and blood thirsty monsters what could be better?!

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Walt Fletcher
0
Walt Fletcher

Give me bad effects for a monster anyday

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Wyldstaar Studio
0
Wyldstaar Studio

The failure of Italian knock-offs like Devil Fish are always entertaining. Swamp Diamonds was made early in Roger Corman's career, so he hadn't yet learned how to get the most bang for his buck.

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James Paparella
0
James Paparella

Swamp Diamonds is tawdry and not weird enough for M st3k.

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Elio Concepcion
0
Elio Concepcion

Because Florida is gross.

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Leonore Bongert
0
Leonore Bongert

There's just something about the silliness of Devil Fish that makes it a joy to watch.

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Susan N Sean Morath
0
Susan N Sean Morath

Because I dearly love the show and love this episode.

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Nicholas Volosin
0
Nicholas Volosin

Because I can't eat swamp diamonds.

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Alex Mckaie
0
Alex Mckaie

Fun crazy film with some great riffs.

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Hawk
0
Hawk

Because this is where the fish lives (wrong episode I know, but it still fits)

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Josh L
0
Josh L

Cause I voted for a Joel ep last time. All things in balance!

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Awghost 5
0
Awghost 5

I just liked the episode better. It's not that deep.

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P.J Quezada
0
P.J Quezada

For the Italian filter and dolphins in space ships.

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Tiffany Fricke
0
Tiffany Fricke

I’ve never seen this one. Is it anything like the piranha one that Jonah did?

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Mark Vidreiro
0
Mark Vidreiro

Tough one, but I enjoy this one better.

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Last_Starfytr
0
Last_Starfytr

Comes down to a better movie if that makes any sense at all. The swamp diamonds women are so grating I can barely keep watching even with the hilarious riffing

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Rebekah Nelson
0
Rebekah Nelson

"Just because you can edit doesn't mean you should."

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KozyTimeOnline
0
KozyTimeOnline

Deep lucifered potatoes is now a family recipe.

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j c
0
j c

My favorite Itloridian movie

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Ricardo Silkworth
0
Ricardo Silkworth

Italians pretending to be a Floridians ... nuff said

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Penny Wise the danceing clown
0
Penny Wise the danceing clown

Idk I just love mst3k the renewal

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Howard Sauertieg
0
Howard Sauertieg

This is a fast moving and fun episode

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Jean Thomas
0
Jean Thomas

Pleasant scenery, super funny!

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Josh Colletta
0
Josh Colletta

I always get a kick out of one of my favorite school field trip destinations (the Miami Seaquarium) being used as the setting for a Eurofunny JAWS knockoff.

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Zoltan Wilson
0
Zoltan Wilson

It's a solid film with terrible acting. I live it

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Chelsea McQuaid
0
Chelsea McQuaid

Here, fishy fishy fishy

Reply
Which episode would you rather see on Turkey Day?
MST3K Asked by MST3K
20 hrs ago

Which episode would you rather see on Turkey Day?

55%
Horror of Party Beach WINNER

5

45%
Laserblast

9

55%
Horror of Party Beach

Which episode would you rather see on Turkey Day?
5 Comments
MST3KaDay On Instagram
2
MST3KaDay On Instagram

"Laserblast" was shown on Turkey Day 2019. "Horror of Party Beach" hasn't been shown on a Turkey Day Marathon in the last 7 years, maybe never. So that's the main reason for our vote going to "... Party Beach".

Reply
Lisa Hill Boatwright
0
Lisa Hill Boatwright

1. It's a singalong; 2. the fight scene is epic; 3. Eulahbelle; 4. Look! Polish!; 5. Hot dog mouth monsters

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David Brian Dobbs
0
David Brian Dobbs

Because sodium is better than being ready for some football.

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Bill Davies
0
Bill Davies

I love the "Zombie Stomp".

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45%
Laserblast

Which episode would you rather see on Turkey Day?
9 Comments
William Lane
2
William Lane

Because it's Thanksgiving and that means I got to GET READY FOR SOME FOOT!!! BALL!!!

Reply
Jackson Munden
1
Jackson Munden

Are you ready for some football?!

Reply
Amy L. Sacks
1
Amy L. Sacks

I wanna' transform into Pure Thought & play at the edge of time & space with all my riffing buddies! <3

Reply
Matt T.
0
Matt T.

He's taking Eddie to the Vet to get Fixed!!

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Nick Franco
0
Nick Franco

Because I'm ready for some football!!!

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Tom Copain
0
Tom Copain

Because I’m READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL

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Stephen Wood
0
Stephen Wood

Utter mess of a film, and delightfully fun to watch.

Reply
Amber Scaggs
0
Amber Scaggs

Because of shell-less turtle like aliens. Also, I'm ready for some football!

Reply
Which episode would you rather see on Turkey Day?
MST3K Asked by MST3K
3 days ago

Which episode would you rather see on Turkey Day?

57%
Parts: The Clonus Horror WINNER

19

43%
Hercules

9

57%
Parts: The Clonus Horror

Which episode would you rather see on Turkey Day?
19 Comments
William Lane
2
William Lane

Tonight, on Biography: Steve Reeves. Star of Hercules, who took steroids because of chronic feelings of inadequacy when compared to his naturally virile contemporary, Peter Graves.

Reply
Jackson Munden
2
Jackson Munden

Today we learned...A and 3... Today we learned A and 3.

Reply
Jeff Pfeiffer
1
Jeff Pfeiffer

So many great riffs in this one and it has a villainous Peter Graves in it. Who could ask for more?

Reply
Alex Addams
1
Alex Addams

So good they ripped it off and got sued!

Reply
MST3KaDay On Instagram
MST3KaDay On Instagram

Actually it should be, such a good movie that it was ripped off by one of the most popular directors in Hollywood who then got sued by the "Clonus" copyright holders. The thief settled out of court. 😁👍

Donald Green
1
Donald Green

Mainly Funny Hosting Bits!

Reply
MST3KaDay On Instagram
1
MST3KaDay On Instagram

It's the best stand alone movie MST ever riffed IMO, it's hysterical from beginning to end and it's my all time #1 favorite episode!

Reply
Daniel Emerson
1
Daniel Emerson

I like both of these, but (just) plumped for Parts.

Reply
Steven Otte
1
Steven Otte

I didn't get to see season 8. I'd love to see this one!

Reply
MST3KaDay On Instagram
MST3KaDay On Instagram

Oh I envy you! Season 8 is arguably their funniest/best season ever! Many of them are on the Gizmoplex.com for free (until 2023) & on YouTube for free including "Clonus".

Travis Reis
1
Travis Reis

Let's go for the Michael Bay inspiration!

Reply
Seth Williams-Welch
1
Seth Williams-Welch

70's beige sci-fi is my happy place

Reply
Nils Lorvick
1
Nils Lorvick

Riffing is top-shelf in this one.

Reply
Sitting Duck
0
Sitting Duck

I'm Peter Graves, and the more Peters Graveses there are, the better. I'm Peter Graves.

Reply
Scott Armstrong
0
Scott Armstrong

She really was on top of old Smokey!

Reply
Alex Flores
0
Alex Flores

Forgot about the cookies! Sorry!

Reply

43%
Hercules

Which episode would you rather see on Turkey Day?
9 Comments
Melanie Hinchey
2
Melanie Hinchey

Let's face it, America does not live up to the hype.

Reply
Solberg-Bell Household
1
Solberg-Bell Household

Turkey makes you sleepy. Herc is naturally sleepy. It's a match made in Olympus!

Reply
Andrew Bosch
0
Andrew Bosch

It's a heavy-lifter.

Reply
Kim VanHooser
0
Kim VanHooser

Anything with Hercules rules!

Reply
Ross Abadie
0
Ross Abadie

Just sing “Zero to Hero” to annoy the community since there’s a Disney Animated film about him.

Reply
Amber Scaggs
0
Amber Scaggs

Hercules > Parts: The Clouns Horror

Reply

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