With realistic Action Batch™!

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 16:42:58 -0600

Look at how long his torso is! It's so long! That's cool.

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 13:12:45 -0600

more practical

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 13:09:35 -0600

I have a long torso, and it would be nice to have an action figure that is like me.

Thu, 14 Jan 2021 21:45:41 -0600

Storage issue

Sat, 02 Jan 2021 09:28:15 -0600

I collect action figures

Thu, 24 Dec 2020 08:38:31 -0600

I love Johnny Longtorso and I would have loved to have had it when I was a kid.

Thu, 24 Dec 2020 07:28:28 -0600

But only his realistic action batch

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 22:43:53 -0600

He's long!

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 20:12:13 -0600

ACCESSORIES!

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 13:25:50 -0600

The big head is a little creepy.

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 13:10:11 -0600

Do you want your house to smell like Canadian Bacon mixed with failure, or baby oil mixed with failure? Easy choice. Plus, Rowsdower brings with him a sidekick and a gaggle of BDSM cultists to liven up your evening. What has Mitchell ever done like that?

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 15:20:42 -0600

Denim, mullet, beer and a sidekick . Yeah this guy was built to save us all and the world!

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 17:50:11 -0600

They are both unappealing, but I grew up in rural Maine in the woods, so I could deal with his rural Canadianness, and I would be up for map finding-behinding and a beer on the sun with Rowsdower.

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 15:14:17 -0600

Rowsdower saves us and saves all the world. Mitchell just drinks, boinks, and yells at kids.

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 15:11:23 -0600

Rowsdower may have a conflicted past, but he ends up doing the right thing. Mitchell is a scumbag. The festive beeramid we would construct brings tears to the eyes!

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 15:51:31 -0600

Does Mitchell rock a totally awesome jean jacket like Rowsder? Nay!

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 15:41:25 -0600

Say what you can, at least he isn't Joe Don Baker.

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 15:21:06 -0600

I want to find out if there’s beer on the sun. Rowsdower will get me there.

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 15:09:33 -0600

I honestly couldn't decide. It just came down to the fact that it's more fun to say "Rowsdower"

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 15:02:52 -0600

He'll get us that beer on the sun.

Tue, 22 Dec 2020 22:52:55 -0600

We only have to deal with Rowsdower once. I would fear dealing with Joe Don morphing from Mitchell to Final Justice in my house. The sacrifice would be too great! 😂

Thu, 17 Dec 2020 07:53:22 -0600

At least he TRIES.

Wed, 16 Dec 2020 17:47:52 -0600

Zap may be an out of shape, gruff old ass, but he's not as prone to violence without provocation as Mitchell. I feel like we could all just sit around drinking Crown Royal and have a good time. Mitchell would start a fight.

Wed, 16 Dec 2020 07:48:04 -0600

I mean, once you hear about baby oil Mitchell... Ugh... Yeah Ros has my vote

Tue, 15 Dec 2020 17:21:21 -0600

Excuse me...I’m Canadian!

Tue, 15 Dec 2020 16:13:05 -0600

Kick back a few brews, beat up some evil cultists, talk about our boy Csonka, who could ask for more?

Tue, 15 Dec 2020 15:18:21 -0600

I have enough beer.

Tue, 15 Dec 2020 14:04:44 -0600

Maaan, I basically AM Rowsdower.

Tue, 15 Dec 2020 10:29:43 -0600

Rowsdower will only drink my beer and pass out. Mitchell will shoot me.

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 21:51:10 -0600

Rowsdower may not be cultured, but he's quiet and seems like he might bathe. You can practically smell Mitchell through the screen...

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 20:56:30 -0600

Rowsdower brings his own beer. And being Canadian, he's naturally more fun in the snow.

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 20:30:01 -0600

The mullet.

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 20:25:37 -0600

Rowsdower's rough around the edges, but at least he'd try to do right by the kids. Mitchell would show up with a cheap hooker and scream obscenities at the kids in the room

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 20:23:20 -0600

Mitchell would eat all your food, do unspeakable things to your toilet, and then haul the entire family down to the station on Christmas morning for some minor infraction he noticed while snooping around the house for more gravy. All except for grandma... grandma has to walk. Bite me, Mitchell.

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 19:23:26 -0600

We could talk about beer on the sun!

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 19:12:22 -0600

I can barely say the name "Rowsdower" without giggling. He brings mirth like Santa Claus, even if he smells like stale cigarettes and flat beer rather than sugarplums and roasted chestnuts.

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 18:16:47 -0600

Food!

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 16:17:26 -0600

Because i want him to drink something other than beer!!!

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 16:13:26 -0600

My family and I LOVE this man!

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 15:38:15 -0600

He’s lumpy, but he’s a nice guy. Mitchell’s too sleazy for me.

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 15:19:51 -0600

Cult stories > cop stories

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 14:46:08 -0600