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Official SquareOffs Page of Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MST3K).
Which is your favored experiment?
MST3K Asked by MST3K
11/9/2020

Which is your favored experiment?

43%
Horrors of Spider Island

11

57%
Final Justice WINNER

22

43%
Horrors of Spider Island

11 Comments
Jackson Munden
2
Jackson Munden

This is the final episode of Mike's green jumpsuit.

Sat, 07 Nov 2020 10:43:04 -0600

Reply
Kevin Smith
0
Kevin Smith

I’ll take Babs over JDB any day of the week!

Mon, 09 Nov 2020 09:14:50 -0600

Reply
Denise Litostansky-Crawford
0
Denise Litostansky-Crawford

Gotta cross my legs to this one again. I wouldn't open them for Joe Don Baker either.

Mon, 09 Nov 2020 07:31:12 -0600

Reply
Jeffrey Malone
0
Jeffrey Malone

Garyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

Sun, 08 Nov 2020 21:46:58 -0600

Reply
Greg Gancho
0
Greg Gancho

This was a tough choice, but I think Spider Island wins with the higher cheeze factor.

Sun, 08 Nov 2020 00:57:28 -0600

Reply
Troy Thomas
0
Troy Thomas

It's been too long since I've seen it last.

Sat, 07 Nov 2020 22:39:44 -0600

Reply
Eviliz
0
Eviliz

Tough. Both are great, but Goosio gives me night terrors.

Sat, 07 Nov 2020 20:13:35 -0600

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Kevin Smith
0
Kevin Smith

Babs could totally take JDB!!!

Sat, 07 Nov 2020 15:41:35 -0600

Reply
Klugman
0
Klugman

Spiders deserve our respect

Sat, 07 Nov 2020 14:33:59 -0600

Reply
Leslie Maryann Neal
0
Leslie Maryann Neal

I LOVE THIS EPISODE. The sexy dancers, the murmuring, the ridiculous man-spider.

Sat, 07 Nov 2020 11:49:39 -0600

Reply
Phyllis Lanza
0
Phyllis Lanza

German babes in bikinis!! And let us not forget the frisson of the final scene when spider-Gary skitters beefily across the quicksand on gossamer legs before succumbing to his guilty doom!

Sat, 07 Nov 2020 10:19:24 -0600

Reply

57%
Final Justice

22 Comments
Angela Martin
1
Angela Martin

Getting what is due! Aahahaha!

Sun, 08 Nov 2020 03:38:25 -0600

Reply
Mira Gutoff
1
Mira Gutoff

I am not voting for Joe Don, but against spiders.

Sat, 07 Nov 2020 11:03:17 -0600

Reply
Jeff Oskins
0
Jeff Oskins

Think you can take me? Go ahead on. It's your move.

Mon, 09 Nov 2020 04:00:49 -0600

Reply
Andrew Fafoutakis
0
Andrew Fafoutakis

Joel Don Baker movies always make me laugh. Mitchell!

Mon, 09 Nov 2020 01:41:23 -0600

Reply
Beardo Beatnick
0
Beardo Beatnick

I watch joe don baker movies

Sun, 08 Nov 2020 21:39:39 -0600

Reply
スーパーセンタヒーロー
0
スーパーセンタヒーロー

Joe Don Baker nuff said

Sun, 08 Nov 2020 13:09:13 -0600

Reply
William Lane
0
William Lane

Because I'm not a SONOVA(something).

Sun, 08 Nov 2020 06:06:04 -0600

Reply
Matthew Finch
0
Matthew Finch

🎶You better ru-uh-un🎶

Sat, 07 Nov 2020 23:20:50 -0600

Reply
Michael Schiavo
0
Michael Schiavo

A tough choice, but we do watch a lot of Joe Don Baker movies around here.

Sat, 07 Nov 2020 23:04:41 -0600

Reply
Michael Manor
0
Michael Manor

Joe Don Baker

Sat, 07 Nov 2020 20:04:56 -0600

Reply
Josh Ryals
0
Josh Ryals

Hardest decision I've had to make so far. But I just can't vote against Joe Don Baker movies in this.

Sat, 07 Nov 2020 17:28:38 -0600

Reply
Troy Wood
0
Troy Wood

Don't be a bunch of Maltese men, and vote Goosio!

Sat, 07 Nov 2020 16:01:38 -0600

Reply
Jay Skillman
0
Jay Skillman

For a certain Lady from Malta, and because no spiders!

Sat, 07 Nov 2020 14:16:11 -0600

Reply
Heidi Bambi Kehler
0
Heidi Bambi Kehler

GO ‘HEAD ON

Sat, 07 Nov 2020 12:48:45 -0600

Reply
j c
0
j c

Out of these two SciFi era episodes, this is definitely the more spongeworthy.

Sat, 07 Nov 2020 12:23:08 -0600

Reply
Gretchen Crumpacker
0
Gretchen Crumpacker

Goosio is my personal savior

Sat, 07 Nov 2020 12:06:27 -0600

Reply
Justin Wingate
0
Justin Wingate

Joe Don Baker?

Sat, 07 Nov 2020 12:04:25 -0600

Reply
James A. Miles
0
James A. Miles

Gossio

Sat, 07 Nov 2020 12:01:42 -0600

Reply
Todd Divel
0
Todd Divel

so meaty

Sat, 07 Nov 2020 10:37:59 -0600

Reply
Kerrin Dworkowski
0
Kerrin Dworkowski

Joe Don Bakker!

Sat, 07 Nov 2020 10:35:20 -0600

Reply
Richard Boncek
0
Richard Boncek

Go ahead on

Sat, 07 Nov 2020 10:31:38 -0600

Reply
Paul Smith
0
Paul Smith

Blessed Saint Giuseppe Don Panettiere, the patron saint of milk (or Maalox), triangles, head dunking and being ever so gracious as to allow others to go ahead and move first.

Fri, 06 Nov 2020 13:47:36 -0600

Reply
Which invention would you rather receive as a gift?

Which invention would you rather receive as a gift?

The Big Head

10

Johnny Longtorso

11

The Big Head

10 Comments
Jim Hanson
3
Jim Hanson

I want people to see me and go "who's that guy with the biiig head?"

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 13:20:42 -0600

Reply
TéléDex-Bracewell #SiaDoesntSpeakForUs #BLM
1
TéléDex-Bracewell #SiaDoesntSpeakForUs #BLM

I think this is more of a novelty gift, that will look good on a wall, rather than my head.

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 13:37:24 -0600

Reply
Arlene Harris
1
Arlene Harris

the big head comes complete. Johnny long torso has so many add ons.

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 13:21:56 -0600

Reply
James Scoggin
1
James Scoggin

Perfect for keeping those annoying salespeople away!

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 13:14:42 -0600

Reply
black and white spies
0
black and white spies

Pixar

Mon, 15 Mar 2021 22:43:11 -0500

Reply
Ben
0
Ben

I want people to see me coming before I’m there!

Wed, 30 Dec 2020 19:16:58 -0600

Reply
Troy Wood
0
Troy Wood

I don't do much algebra, but in the off chance I needed to, it'd be handy to have the big head around.

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 15:30:35 -0600

Reply
Derek Smith
0
Derek Smith

Ummm... because? Yeah, because! That's right ummm yeah... because... n stuff. I have spoken! Pretty much. Or because bigger head means I can eat bigger cheez-its?

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 14:22:25 -0600

Reply
Sitting Duck
0
Sitting Duck

Though I really want Mr. Mashed Potato Head.

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 13:56:46 -0600

Reply
Michael Kilgore
0
Michael Kilgore

If anyone ever told me in response to my grandiose plans that I've got the big head, I'd reply, "How did you know?"

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 13:31:42 -0600

Reply

Johnny Longtorso

11 Comments
Russell Boyer
1
Russell Boyer

With realistic Action Batch™!

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 16:42:58 -0600

Reply
Kirsty The Hermit
1
Kirsty The Hermit

Look at how long his torso is! It's so long! That's cool.

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 13:12:45 -0600

Reply
Casey Killingsworth
1
Casey Killingsworth

more practical

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 13:09:35 -0600

Reply
Leeann Key
0
Leeann Key

I have a long torso, and it would be nice to have an action figure that is like me.

Thu, 14 Jan 2021 21:45:41 -0600

Reply
Jonathon Hoff
0
Jonathon Hoff

Storage issue

Sat, 02 Jan 2021 09:28:15 -0600

Reply
Jennifred Hollybright
0
Jennifred Hollybright

I collect action figures

Thu, 24 Dec 2020 08:38:31 -0600

Reply
wthvideoproduction
0
wthvideoproduction

I love Johnny Longtorso and I would have loved to have had it when I was a kid.

Thu, 24 Dec 2020 07:28:28 -0600

Reply
Bussho Lahn
0
Bussho Lahn

But only his realistic action batch

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 22:43:53 -0600

Reply
Nate Butler
0
Nate Butler

He's long!

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 20:12:13 -0600

Reply
Diana Psotka
0
Diana Psotka

ACCESSORIES!

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 13:25:50 -0600

Reply
Claire Jumper
0
Claire Jumper

The big head is a little creepy.

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 13:10:11 -0600

Reply
Which person would you rather host for the holidays?

Which person would you rather host for the holidays?

Mitchell

10

Rowsdower

32

Mitchell

10 Comments
Denise Litostansky-Crawford
1
Denise Litostansky-Crawford

My, my, my Mitchell. He'll clean up all the leftovers.

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 14:49:03 -0600

Reply
Jeff Rohr
0
Jeff Rohr

I'm pretty sure this is Jack Black.

Wed, 02 Jun 2021 10:21:20 -0500

Reply
Matthew Finch
0
Matthew Finch

Two words: Not Canadian Just kidding. He's just so lovable...

Thu, 17 Dec 2020 20:50:25 -0600

Reply
Vega$ Chicken
0
Vega$ Chicken

From a guest standpoint he would probably be low maintenance as long as you had plenty of beer.

Tue, 15 Dec 2020 21:43:22 -0600

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Doc Gregory
0
Doc Gregory

It's Joe Don Baker, need I say more. My My My My Mitchell.

Tue, 15 Dec 2020 21:10:23 -0600

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Gordon Rhys
0
Gordon Rhys

He'll bring the Schlitz. Kiss of the hops, baby.

Tue, 15 Dec 2020 07:00:56 -0600

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Dee Schendel
0
Dee Schendel

I think Mitchell would be a chill drunk at the holiday celebrations & mildly entertaining. Rowsdower, probably an angry drunk, unpredictable with his PTSD because of that cult thing & kind of scary. I'm all into excitement, but not at Christmas.

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 18:54:52 -0600

Reply
Wes Pledger
0
Wes Pledger

Mitchell! One of the first mst3k’s I ever saw!

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 15:36:53 -0600

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Brian John Davidson
0
Brian John Davidson

It would be easy to toss Mitchell out in the snow once the visit palled. Which would take about five minutes. I'd give him an orange for the journey.

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 15:21:14 -0600

Reply
Alexandrea Cyril Niell
0
Alexandrea Cyril Niell

My, my, my, my house guest.

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 15:10:56 -0600

Reply

Rowsdower

32 Comments
Vern Pike
3
Vern Pike

Do you want your house to smell like Canadian Bacon mixed with failure, or baby oil mixed with failure? Easy choice. Plus, Rowsdower brings with him a sidekick and a gaggle of BDSM cultists to liven up your evening. What has Mitchell ever done like that?

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 15:20:42 -0600

Reply
Ben
2
Ben

Denim, mullet, beer and a sidekick . Yeah this guy was built to save us all and the world!

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 17:50:11 -0600

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Graham Connor
Graham Connor

Amen!

Tue, 15 Dec 2020 16:14:53 -0600

Marion Nanette Holmes
2
Marion Nanette Holmes

They are both unappealing, but I grew up in rural Maine in the woods, so I could deal with his rural Canadianness, and I would be up for map finding-behinding and a beer on the sun with Rowsdower.

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 15:14:17 -0600

Reply
Opia R. Castle
2
Opia R. Castle

Rowsdower saves us and saves all the world. Mitchell just drinks, boinks, and yells at kids.

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 15:11:23 -0600

Reply
Andrew Brandt
1
Andrew Brandt

Rowsdower may have a conflicted past, but he ends up doing the right thing. Mitchell is a scumbag. The festive beeramid we would construct brings tears to the eyes!

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 15:51:31 -0600

Reply
4 Seasons Total Landscaping's Head Arborist
1
4 Seasons Total Landscaping's Head Arborist

Does Mitchell rock a totally awesome jean jacket like Rowsder? Nay!

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 15:41:25 -0600

Reply
Justin Wingate
1
Justin Wingate

Say what you can, at least he isn't Joe Don Baker.

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 15:21:06 -0600

Reply
M Doyle
1
M Doyle

I want to find out if there’s beer on the sun. Rowsdower will get me there.

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 15:09:33 -0600

Reply
Noble Lashley
1
Noble Lashley

I honestly couldn't decide. It just came down to the fact that it's more fun to say "Rowsdower"

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 15:02:52 -0600

Reply
Mira Gutoff
0
Mira Gutoff

He'll get us that beer on the sun.

Tue, 22 Dec 2020 22:52:55 -0600

Reply
sean grady
0
sean grady

We only have to deal with Rowsdower once. I would fear dealing with Joe Don morphing from Mitchell to Final Justice in my house. The sacrifice would be too great! 😂

Thu, 17 Dec 2020 07:53:22 -0600

Reply
Kate Halleron
0
Kate Halleron

At least he TRIES.

Wed, 16 Dec 2020 17:47:52 -0600

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Josh Brown
0
Josh Brown

Zap may be an out of shape, gruff old ass, but he's not as prone to violence without provocation as Mitchell. I feel like we could all just sit around drinking Crown Royal and have a good time. Mitchell would start a fight.

Wed, 16 Dec 2020 07:48:04 -0600

Reply
NealyPlum Gamer
0
NealyPlum Gamer

I mean, once you hear about baby oil Mitchell... Ugh... Yeah Ros has my vote

Tue, 15 Dec 2020 17:21:21 -0600

Reply
Graham Connor
0
Graham Connor

Excuse me...I’m Canadian!

Tue, 15 Dec 2020 16:13:05 -0600

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Brock Barber
0
Brock Barber

Kick back a few brews, beat up some evil cultists, talk about our boy Csonka, who could ask for more?

Tue, 15 Dec 2020 15:18:21 -0600

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Trevor Moses
0
Trevor Moses

I have enough beer.

Tue, 15 Dec 2020 14:04:44 -0600

Reply
Aaron Noble
0
Aaron Noble

Maaan, I basically AM Rowsdower.

Tue, 15 Dec 2020 10:29:43 -0600

Reply
Rick Halm
0
Rick Halm

Rowsdower will only drink my beer and pass out. Mitchell will shoot me.

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 21:51:10 -0600

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David Schmidt
0
David Schmidt

Rowsdower may not be cultured, but he's quiet and seems like he might bathe. You can practically smell Mitchell through the screen...

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 20:56:30 -0600

Reply
Newt Calkins
0
Newt Calkins

Rowsdower brings his own beer. And being Canadian, he's naturally more fun in the snow.

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 20:30:01 -0600

Reply
Warren English
0
Warren English

The mullet.

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 20:25:37 -0600

Reply
M'Hael Adam McMorgann
0
M'Hael Adam McMorgann

Rowsdower's rough around the edges, but at least he'd try to do right by the kids. Mitchell would show up with a cheap hooker and scream obscenities at the kids in the room

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 20:23:20 -0600

Reply
Troy Wood
0
Troy Wood

Mitchell would eat all your food, do unspeakable things to your toilet, and then haul the entire family down to the station on Christmas morning for some minor infraction he noticed while snooping around the house for more gravy. All except for grandma... grandma has to walk. Bite me, Mitchell.

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 19:23:26 -0600

Reply
Kerrin Dworkowski
0
Kerrin Dworkowski

We could talk about beer on the sun!

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 19:12:22 -0600

Reply
John Arminio
0
John Arminio

I can barely say the name "Rowsdower" without giggling. He brings mirth like Santa Claus, even if he smells like stale cigarettes and flat beer rather than sugarplums and roasted chestnuts.

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 18:16:47 -0600

Reply
Jeremy Nilson
0
Jeremy Nilson

Food!

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 16:17:26 -0600

Reply
Zachariah Mason
0
Zachariah Mason

Because i want him to drink something other than beer!!!

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 16:13:26 -0600

Reply
CaptEoNinja83
0
CaptEoNinja83

My family and I LOVE this man!

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 15:38:15 -0600

Reply
Andrew Thomas
0
Andrew Thomas

He’s lumpy, but he’s a nice guy. Mitchell’s too sleazy for me.

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 15:19:51 -0600

Reply
MST3K
0
MST3K

Cult stories > cop stories

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 14:46:08 -0600

Reply
Waira
Waira @ItsWaira
I love music, sports, and everything nerdy
Rachel Clara Smith
Rachel Clara Smith @rikku
If you go straight long enough you'll end up where you were.
Paul Smith
Paul Smith @pncsmith
Husband|Father|#LDS |Native Houstonian|Deepwater/Deer Park Grad|U...
Mark Werner
Mark Werner @mark
If you're on your bike at night, please wear white
Ben
Kia Ora
Jeff Rohr
Jeff Rohr @jeff
Chief Square Officer @SquareOffs. Welcome to The Opinion Network.
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