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Official SquareOffs Page of Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MST3K).
Which is your favored experiment?
MST3K Asked by MST3K
11/5/2020

Which is your favored experiment?

42%
Night of the Blood Beast

27

58%
Final Justice WINNER

43

42%
Night of the Blood Beast

27 Comments
Jim Hanson
4
Jim Hanson

Blood Beast had the definitive Turkey Day episode.

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 13:24:26 -0600

Reply
Ben
3
Ben

Steve’s don’t have a chance against Joe Don Baker, but I haven’t seen this nearly as much as Final Sacrifice.

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 16:00:48 -0600

Reply
Myrrh Kingwell
3
Myrrh Kingwell

Eating while looking at Joe Don Baker isn't advisable imo.

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 14:36:59 -0600

Reply
Troy Thomas
2
Troy Thomas

It's the Thanksgiving episode, people! Come on!

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 13:22:56 -0600

Reply
Denise Litostansky-Crawford
2
Denise Litostansky-Crawford

Gotta go with the guy pregnant with shrimp!

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 13:05:27 -0600

Reply
Jackson Munden
2
Jackson Munden

Once Upon a Honeymoon

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 12:42:43 -0600

Reply
Phyllis Lanza
1
Phyllis Lanza

Geronimo is no Mitchell. I'm sticking with the Steves.

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 14:40:37 -0600

Reply
Uncle Fezter
1
Uncle Fezter

The running 'Steve' gag, 'These boobies aren't as nice as the other ones', 'Back when NASA was family owned and operated', and a whole lot more

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 12:30:37 -0600

Reply
Dylan Dotson
0
Dylan Dotson

Ask Steve

Thu, 05 Nov 2020 05:59:57 -0600

Reply
Lucia Bella
0
Lucia Bella

That title is just pure class.

Wed, 04 Nov 2020 19:29:35 -0600

Reply
Jay Skillman
0
Jay Skillman

Vote for the Under-Beast!

Wed, 04 Nov 2020 16:58:53 -0600

Reply
Aimee Wright
0
Aimee Wright

Oof, no more Joe Don Baker.

Wed, 04 Nov 2020 12:13:15 -0600

Reply
Shaun O'Leary
0
Shaun O'Leary

"I've lain with the Blood Beast."

Wed, 04 Nov 2020 12:13:00 -0600

Reply
Ben Schmidt
0
Ben Schmidt

Go ahead on.

Wed, 04 Nov 2020 11:22:51 -0600

Reply
Leslie Maryann Neal
0
Leslie Maryann Neal

One of my fave eps. Maybe you could show the Turkey Day version?

Tue, 03 Nov 2020 19:43:26 -0600

Reply
Jordan Carpenter
0
Jordan Carpenter

I literally can't understand voting against a Season 7 episode. The whole thing is just perfection all the way through.

Tue, 03 Nov 2020 14:49:23 -0600

Reply
Andrew Brandt
0
Andrew Brandt

Not even close for me. First viewing of Blood Beast had me cackling. Joe Don Baker or no, Blood Beast is a classic!

Tue, 03 Nov 2020 09:10:12 -0600

Reply
Lynda Rollins
0
Lynda Rollins

Never seen it! Seen Final Justice however like 15 times. Yes, "only" 15.

Tue, 03 Nov 2020 03:55:04 -0600

Reply
Eve LeCrosse
0
Eve LeCrosse

Steve!!!

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 22:00:48 -0600

Reply
Tiffany Fricke
0
Tiffany Fricke

Never saw it, but everybody says it's "so Thanksgiving". I must find out why.

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 20:55:57 -0600

Reply
Ricardo Silkworth
0
Ricardo Silkworth

For the Shrimp babies yo

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 19:52:31 -0600

Reply
Sean Garner
0
Sean Garner

The Blood Beast!

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 19:46:04 -0600

Reply
Justin Wingate
0
Justin Wingate

Because the Thanksgiving one is still awesome.

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 19:05:42 -0600

Reply
Amber Scaggs
0
Amber Scaggs

I like this movie better. I feel sorry for Steve.

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 16:53:41 -0600

Reply
Derek Smith
0
Derek Smith

Sry, Final Justice is all over the damn place...

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 16:08:02 -0600

Reply
Troy Wood
0
Troy Wood

'Final Justice' is the better episode, but 'Night of the Blood Beast' has an entire alternate batch of Thanksgiving themed host segments, which makes it the obvious Turkey Day choice.

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 15:18:32 -0600

Reply
Todd Divel
0
Todd Divel

because

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 13:01:01 -0600

Reply

58%
Final Justice

43 Comments
Paul Smith
5
Paul Smith

You guys vote for Joe Don Baker movies?

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 13:38:57 -0600

Reply
Robert Boo Berry
Robert Boo Berry

Get back to work Temp Boy!

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 15:35:59 -0600

Gretchen Crumpacker
2
Gretchen Crumpacker

One word: GOOSIO. And yes, I very much want Joe Don Baker’s vast white buttocks rising over my Thanksgiving turkey.

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 13:18:19 -0600

Reply
Corey Core Grundstein
2
Corey Core Grundstein

I like Final Justice much more however, Lesley, I have a suggestion. Night of the Blood Beast has a version with Thanksgiving themed host segments. Maybe play those host segments in between episodes.

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 12:37:12 -0600

Reply
Newt Calkins
1
Newt Calkins

YOU SONOFA-!!!

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 22:01:23 -0600

Reply
Howard Sauertieg
1
Howard Sauertieg

This is a vote for all the hard working Maltese women.

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 20:20:48 -0600

Reply
ThePeronah
1
ThePeronah

No box of Hamdingers here

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 16:23:58 -0600

Reply
William Lane
1
William Lane

Go ahead on. It's your move.

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 13:02:24 -0600

Reply
Michael Pullmann
1
Michael Pullmann

Think you can take me? Go ahead on. It's your move.

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 12:16:48 -0600

Reply
MST3K
1
MST3K

Goooooooosio!

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 12:11:43 -0600

Reply
Killua
0
Killua

I have a need for a yearly Rowsdower fix. This alleviates that.

Thu, 05 Nov 2020 06:33:49 -0600

Reply
Bo Sheep
0
Bo Sheep

gooseio's death must not have been in vain

Wed, 04 Nov 2020 20:08:35 -0600

Reply
Chris Haynes
0
Chris Haynes

The Joe Don episodes are classic

Wed, 04 Nov 2020 19:18:47 -0600

Reply
Mike Lewis
0
Mike Lewis

I'm ready for some FOOOTBALLLL!

Wed, 04 Nov 2020 18:13:08 -0600

Reply
Crissty Hawkins
0
Crissty Hawkins

I need more jokes like "Mitchell" in my life.

Wed, 04 Nov 2020 17:02:51 -0600

Reply
Dan Hux
0
Dan Hux

Who doesn’t want to watch Joe Don Baker try to act!

Wed, 04 Nov 2020 13:20:04 -0600

Reply
Jeremy Leveille
0
Jeremy Leveille

Neither of these are very high on my favorite episodes list, but Final Justice is a little funnier IMO

Wed, 04 Nov 2020 11:34:33 -0600

Reply
Josh Colletta
0
Josh Colletta

Eat eat eat eat, munch munch munch munch...

Wed, 04 Nov 2020 11:13:07 -0600

Reply
Chippletown
0
Chippletown

Mitchell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tue, 03 Nov 2020 20:56:41 -0600

Reply
S Moyer
0
S Moyer

😄

Tue, 03 Nov 2020 18:56:18 -0600

Reply
Kenneth E. Morgan
0
Kenneth E. Morgan

Funnier movie.

Tue, 03 Nov 2020 18:44:19 -0600

Reply
Not Billehecka
0
Not Billehecka

just one more

Tue, 03 Nov 2020 17:34:07 -0600

Reply
Mike Aronow
0
Mike Aronow

If Joe Don Baker is in the episode, it gets my vote.

Tue, 03 Nov 2020 12:40:37 -0600

Reply
garrett salinas
0
garrett salinas

Go ahead on

Tue, 03 Nov 2020 08:50:36 -0600

Reply
A. Wendel, Writer, COTA
0
A. Wendel, Writer, COTA

Joe Don Baker all the way!

Tue, 03 Nov 2020 07:29:32 -0600

Reply
John C. Worsley
0
John C. Worsley

Just had to go ahead on.

Tue, 03 Nov 2020 01:22:46 -0600

Reply
Beardo Beatnick
0
Beardo Beatnick

Cuz I always eat oatmeal

Tue, 03 Nov 2020 00:22:32 -0600

Reply
Andrew Gauer
0
Andrew Gauer

Just one more justice please

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 20:59:34 -0600

Reply
Daniel Laird
0
Daniel Laird

From the shoehorning a European criminal into Texas to the way it just ends, and the great Eateateat credit song.... what's not to love?

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 18:36:49 -0600

Reply
Casey Killingsworth
0
Casey Killingsworth

more stand out jokes

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 16:23:20 -0600

Reply
Bryan Ourso
0
Bryan Ourso

Got any Maalox?

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 16:10:53 -0600

Reply
Matthew Finch
0
Matthew Finch

Thanks, Malta...

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 15:55:35 -0600

Reply
Xavier Whitley II
0
Xavier Whitley II

The Burford puss

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 15:17:07 -0600

Reply
Ben Murphy
0
Ben Murphy

Go ahead on, now.

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 15:03:32 -0600

Reply
Steven Aloyisus Campbell
0
Steven Aloyisus Campbell

Tough one. Both titles remind me so much of Election Day. It's time for Final Justice though, so there. Oh, and also Joe Don Baker!!!

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 13:24:00 -0600

Reply
sir yoda of hoda
0
sir yoda of hoda

Go ahead on!

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 13:05:40 -0600

Reply
Brian Jay
0
Brian Jay

Oh Kermie, take a look at my good stuff!

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 13:03:33 -0600

Reply
Katey Carney
0
Katey Carney

One word ,"Rowsdower" .

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 12:52:56 -0600

Reply
Michael Schiavo
0
Michael Schiavo

Go ahead on.

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 12:33:58 -0600

Reply
Josh Ryals
0
Josh Ryals

Would absolutely love to see either one of these on Thanksgiving but I've gotta go with the Joe Don Baker movie. "Can I have another meal?"

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 12:32:29 -0600

Reply
Gregory Lannom
0
Gregory Lannom

I went ahead on and made muh move.

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 12:31:19 -0600

Reply
Chuck Campbell
0
Chuck Campbell

Because I like to go head on!

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 12:20:59 -0600

Reply
Keeva Segal
0
Keeva Segal

Who can possibly not want to see this one? It has everything! Joe Don Baker, no discernible plot, incoherent dialog and breathless (literally) chases.

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 12:19:20 -0600

Reply
Which invention would you rather receive as a gift?

Which invention would you rather receive as a gift?

The Big Head

10

Johnny Longtorso

11

The Big Head

10 Comments
Jim Hanson
3
Jim Hanson

I want people to see me and go "who's that guy with the biiig head?"

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 13:20:42 -0600

Reply
TéléDex-Bracewell #SiaDoesntSpeakForUs #BLM
1
TéléDex-Bracewell #SiaDoesntSpeakForUs #BLM

I think this is more of a novelty gift, that will look good on a wall, rather than my head.

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 13:37:24 -0600

Reply
Arlene Harris
1
Arlene Harris

the big head comes complete. Johnny long torso has so many add ons.

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 13:21:56 -0600

Reply
James Scoggin
1
James Scoggin

Perfect for keeping those annoying salespeople away!

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 13:14:42 -0600

Reply
black and white spies
0
black and white spies

Pixar

Mon, 15 Mar 2021 22:43:11 -0500

Reply
Ben
0
Ben

I want people to see me coming before I’m there!

Wed, 30 Dec 2020 19:16:58 -0600

Reply
Troy Wood
0
Troy Wood

I don't do much algebra, but in the off chance I needed to, it'd be handy to have the big head around.

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 15:30:35 -0600

Reply
Derek Smith
0
Derek Smith

Ummm... because? Yeah, because! That's right ummm yeah... because... n stuff. I have spoken! Pretty much. Or because bigger head means I can eat bigger cheez-its?

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 14:22:25 -0600

Reply
Sitting Duck
0
Sitting Duck

Though I really want Mr. Mashed Potato Head.

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 13:56:46 -0600

Reply
Michael Kilgore
0
Michael Kilgore

If anyone ever told me in response to my grandiose plans that I've got the big head, I'd reply, "How did you know?"

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 13:31:42 -0600

Reply

Johnny Longtorso

11 Comments
Russell Boyer
1
Russell Boyer

With realistic Action Batch™!

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 16:42:58 -0600

Reply
Kirsty The Hermit
1
Kirsty The Hermit

Look at how long his torso is! It's so long! That's cool.

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 13:12:45 -0600

Reply
Casey Killingsworth
1
Casey Killingsworth

more practical

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 13:09:35 -0600

Reply
Leeann Key
0
Leeann Key

I have a long torso, and it would be nice to have an action figure that is like me.

Thu, 14 Jan 2021 21:45:41 -0600

Reply
Jonathon Hoff
0
Jonathon Hoff

Storage issue

Sat, 02 Jan 2021 09:28:15 -0600

Reply
Jennifred Hollybright
0
Jennifred Hollybright

I collect action figures

Thu, 24 Dec 2020 08:38:31 -0600

Reply
wthvideoproduction
0
wthvideoproduction

I love Johnny Longtorso and I would have loved to have had it when I was a kid.

Thu, 24 Dec 2020 07:28:28 -0600

Reply
Bussho Lahn
0
Bussho Lahn

But only his realistic action batch

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 22:43:53 -0600

Reply
Nate Butler
0
Nate Butler

He's long!

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 20:12:13 -0600

Reply
Diana Psotka
0
Diana Psotka

ACCESSORIES!

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 13:25:50 -0600

Reply
Claire Jumper
0
Claire Jumper

The big head is a little creepy.

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 13:10:11 -0600

Reply
Which person would you rather host for the holidays?

Which person would you rather host for the holidays?

Mitchell

10

Rowsdower

32

Mitchell

10 Comments
Denise Litostansky-Crawford
1
Denise Litostansky-Crawford

My, my, my Mitchell. He'll clean up all the leftovers.

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 14:49:03 -0600

Reply
Jeff Rohr
0
Jeff Rohr

I'm pretty sure this is Jack Black.

Wed, 02 Jun 2021 10:21:20 -0500

Reply
Matthew Finch
0
Matthew Finch

Two words: Not Canadian Just kidding. He's just so lovable...

Thu, 17 Dec 2020 20:50:25 -0600

Reply
Vega$ Chicken
0
Vega$ Chicken

From a guest standpoint he would probably be low maintenance as long as you had plenty of beer.

Tue, 15 Dec 2020 21:43:22 -0600

Reply
Doc Gregory
0
Doc Gregory

It's Joe Don Baker, need I say more. My My My My Mitchell.

Tue, 15 Dec 2020 21:10:23 -0600

Reply
Gordon Rhys
0
Gordon Rhys

He'll bring the Schlitz. Kiss of the hops, baby.

Tue, 15 Dec 2020 07:00:56 -0600

Reply
Dee Schendel
0
Dee Schendel

I think Mitchell would be a chill drunk at the holiday celebrations & mildly entertaining. Rowsdower, probably an angry drunk, unpredictable with his PTSD because of that cult thing & kind of scary. I'm all into excitement, but not at Christmas.

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 18:54:52 -0600

Reply
Wes Pledger
0
Wes Pledger

Mitchell! One of the first mst3k’s I ever saw!

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 15:36:53 -0600

Reply
Brian John Davidson
0
Brian John Davidson

It would be easy to toss Mitchell out in the snow once the visit palled. Which would take about five minutes. I'd give him an orange for the journey.

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 15:21:14 -0600

Reply
Alexandrea Cyril Niell
0
Alexandrea Cyril Niell

My, my, my, my house guest.

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 15:10:56 -0600

Reply

Rowsdower

32 Comments
Vern Pike
3
Vern Pike

Do you want your house to smell like Canadian Bacon mixed with failure, or baby oil mixed with failure? Easy choice. Plus, Rowsdower brings with him a sidekick and a gaggle of BDSM cultists to liven up your evening. What has Mitchell ever done like that?

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 15:20:42 -0600

Reply
Ben
2
Ben

Denim, mullet, beer and a sidekick . Yeah this guy was built to save us all and the world!

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 17:50:11 -0600

Reply
Graham Connor
Graham Connor

Amen!

Tue, 15 Dec 2020 16:14:53 -0600

Marion Nanette Holmes
2
Marion Nanette Holmes

They are both unappealing, but I grew up in rural Maine in the woods, so I could deal with his rural Canadianness, and I would be up for map finding-behinding and a beer on the sun with Rowsdower.

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 15:14:17 -0600

Reply
Opia R. Castle
2
Opia R. Castle

Rowsdower saves us and saves all the world. Mitchell just drinks, boinks, and yells at kids.

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 15:11:23 -0600

Reply
Andrew Brandt
1
Andrew Brandt

Rowsdower may have a conflicted past, but he ends up doing the right thing. Mitchell is a scumbag. The festive beeramid we would construct brings tears to the eyes!

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 15:51:31 -0600

Reply
4 Seasons Total Landscaping's Head Arborist
1
4 Seasons Total Landscaping's Head Arborist

Does Mitchell rock a totally awesome jean jacket like Rowsder? Nay!

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 15:41:25 -0600

Reply
Justin Wingate
1
Justin Wingate

Say what you can, at least he isn't Joe Don Baker.

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 15:21:06 -0600

Reply
M Doyle
1
M Doyle

I want to find out if there’s beer on the sun. Rowsdower will get me there.

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 15:09:33 -0600

Reply
Noble Lashley
1
Noble Lashley

I honestly couldn't decide. It just came down to the fact that it's more fun to say "Rowsdower"

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 15:02:52 -0600

Reply
Mira Gutoff
0
Mira Gutoff

He'll get us that beer on the sun.

Tue, 22 Dec 2020 22:52:55 -0600

Reply
sean grady
0
sean grady

We only have to deal with Rowsdower once. I would fear dealing with Joe Don morphing from Mitchell to Final Justice in my house. The sacrifice would be too great! 😂

Thu, 17 Dec 2020 07:53:22 -0600

Reply
Kate Halleron
0
Kate Halleron

At least he TRIES.

Wed, 16 Dec 2020 17:47:52 -0600

Reply
Josh Brown
0
Josh Brown

Zap may be an out of shape, gruff old ass, but he's not as prone to violence without provocation as Mitchell. I feel like we could all just sit around drinking Crown Royal and have a good time. Mitchell would start a fight.

Wed, 16 Dec 2020 07:48:04 -0600

Reply
NealyPlum Gamer
0
NealyPlum Gamer

I mean, once you hear about baby oil Mitchell... Ugh... Yeah Ros has my vote

Tue, 15 Dec 2020 17:21:21 -0600

Reply
Graham Connor
0
Graham Connor

Excuse me...I’m Canadian!

Tue, 15 Dec 2020 16:13:05 -0600

Reply
Brock Barber
0
Brock Barber

Kick back a few brews, beat up some evil cultists, talk about our boy Csonka, who could ask for more?

Tue, 15 Dec 2020 15:18:21 -0600

Reply
Trevor Moses
0
Trevor Moses

I have enough beer.

Tue, 15 Dec 2020 14:04:44 -0600

Reply
Aaron Noble
0
Aaron Noble

Maaan, I basically AM Rowsdower.

Tue, 15 Dec 2020 10:29:43 -0600

Reply
Rick Halm
0
Rick Halm

Rowsdower will only drink my beer and pass out. Mitchell will shoot me.

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 21:51:10 -0600

Reply
David Schmidt
0
David Schmidt

Rowsdower may not be cultured, but he's quiet and seems like he might bathe. You can practically smell Mitchell through the screen...

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 20:56:30 -0600

Reply
Newt Calkins
0
Newt Calkins

Rowsdower brings his own beer. And being Canadian, he's naturally more fun in the snow.

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 20:30:01 -0600

Reply
Warren English
0
Warren English

The mullet.

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 20:25:37 -0600

Reply
M'Hael Adam McMorgann
0
M'Hael Adam McMorgann

Rowsdower's rough around the edges, but at least he'd try to do right by the kids. Mitchell would show up with a cheap hooker and scream obscenities at the kids in the room

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 20:23:20 -0600

Reply
Troy Wood
0
Troy Wood

Mitchell would eat all your food, do unspeakable things to your toilet, and then haul the entire family down to the station on Christmas morning for some minor infraction he noticed while snooping around the house for more gravy. All except for grandma... grandma has to walk. Bite me, Mitchell.

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 19:23:26 -0600

Reply
Kerrin Dworkowski
0
Kerrin Dworkowski

We could talk about beer on the sun!

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 19:12:22 -0600

Reply
John Arminio
0
John Arminio

I can barely say the name "Rowsdower" without giggling. He brings mirth like Santa Claus, even if he smells like stale cigarettes and flat beer rather than sugarplums and roasted chestnuts.

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 18:16:47 -0600

Reply
Jeremy Nilson
0
Jeremy Nilson

Food!

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 16:17:26 -0600

Reply
Zachariah Mason
0
Zachariah Mason

Because i want him to drink something other than beer!!!

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 16:13:26 -0600

Reply
CaptEoNinja83
0
CaptEoNinja83

My family and I LOVE this man!

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 15:38:15 -0600

Reply
Andrew Thomas
0
Andrew Thomas

He’s lumpy, but he’s a nice guy. Mitchell’s too sleazy for me.

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 15:19:51 -0600

Reply
MST3K
0
MST3K

Cult stories > cop stories

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 14:46:08 -0600

Reply
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