Official SquareOffs Page of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Currently featuring the Turkey Day Tournament 2021! Your votes will decide four of the episodes shown on this year's Turkey Day Marathon.
Which person would you rather host for the holidays?
MST3K Asked by MST3K
2098 Votes

Which person would you rather host for the holidays?

Mitchell

16

Rowsdower

58

Mitchell

16 Comments
Denise Litostansky-Crawford
1
Denise Litostansky-Crawford

My, my, my Mitchell. He'll clean up all the leftovers.

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Charles Ilardi
0
Charles Ilardi

As long as the beer holds out

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Mark Lucas
0
Mark Lucas

He's the host that will never get away from Pearl. If he drives the Satellite of Love like he does his car, it will be a cinch for her to bag her man....

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Brandon Casorla
0
Brandon Casorla

Mitchell is one bad mother

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Sherri Deman
0
Sherri Deman

My my my my favorite of all episodes!!! MITCHELL RULES!!!😂👏🏻😂👏🏻❤️❤️ I WANNA EEEEAT!!😩!…. BUT FOOD….😢

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Jeff Rohr
0
Jeff Rohr

I'm pretty sure this is Jack Black.

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Matthew Finch
0
Matthew Finch

Two words: Not Canadian Just kidding. He's just so lovable...

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Vega$ Chicken
0
Vega$ Chicken

From a guest standpoint he would probably be low maintenance as long as you had plenty of beer.

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Doc Gregory
0
Doc Gregory

It's Joe Don Baker, need I say more. My My My My Mitchell.

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Gordon Rhys
0
Gordon Rhys

He'll bring the Schlitz. Kiss of the hops, baby.

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Dee Schendel
0
Dee Schendel

I think Mitchell would be a chill drunk at the holiday celebrations & mildly entertaining. Rowsdower, probably an angry drunk, unpredictable with his PTSD because of that cult thing & kind of scary. I'm all into excitement, but not at Christmas.

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Wes Pledger
0
Wes Pledger

Mitchell! One of the first mst3k’s I ever saw!

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Brian John Davidson
0
Brian John Davidson

It would be easy to toss Mitchell out in the snow once the visit palled. Which would take about five minutes. I'd give him an orange for the journey.

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Alexandrea Cyril Niell
0
Alexandrea Cyril Niell

My, my, my, my house guest.

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Rowsdower

58 Comments
Vern Pike
3
Vern Pike

Do you want your house to smell like Canadian Bacon mixed with failure, or baby oil mixed with failure? Easy choice. Plus, Rowsdower brings with him a sidekick and a gaggle of BDSM cultists to liven up your evening. What has Mitchell ever done like that?

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Shelly Toscano
2
Shelly Toscano

Rowsdower wouldn't bust me for weed.

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Tom Blackburn
2
Tom Blackburn

He won't arrest you for smoking weeeeed!

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Ben
2
Ben

Denim, mullet, beer and a sidekick . Yeah this guy was built to save us all and the world!

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Marion Nanette Holmes
2
Marion Nanette Holmes

They are both unappealing, but I grew up in rural Maine in the woods, so I could deal with his rural Canadianness, and I would be up for map finding-behinding and a beer on the sun with Rowsdower.

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Opia R. Castle
2
Opia R. Castle

Rowsdower saves us and saves all the world. Mitchell just drinks, boinks, and yells at kids.

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Andy Pottschmidt
1
Andy Pottschmidt

I couldn't afford to feed Mitchel.

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Michael Seaman
1
Michael Seaman

It took him years, but he saved us and saved all the world. All while in a contestant beer haze. Mitchell can barely stop one drug kingpin while in a constant beer haze.

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James Brown
1
James Brown

Mitchell's a narc and i smoke pot. I dont feel like Rowsdower would judge me to hard on acount of his past in a cult and he would probably be a nicer host.

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sean grady
1
sean grady

We only have to deal with Rowsdower once. I would fear dealing with Joe Don morphing from Mitchell to Final Justice in my house. The sacrifice would be too great! 😂

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Brock Barber
1
Brock Barber

Kick back a few brews, beat up some evil cultists, talk about our boy Csonka, who could ask for more?

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Newt Calkins
1
Newt Calkins

Rowsdower brings his own beer. And being Canadian, he's naturally more fun in the snow.

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M'Hael Adam McMorgann
1
M'Hael Adam McMorgann

Rowsdower's rough around the edges, but at least he'd try to do right by the kids. Mitchell would show up with a cheap hooker and scream obscenities at the kids in the room

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Troy Wood
1
Troy Wood

Mitchell would eat all your food, do unspeakable things to your toilet, and then haul the entire family down to the station on Christmas morning for some minor infraction he noticed while snooping around the house for more gravy. All except for grandma... grandma has to walk. Bite me, Mitchell.

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John Arminio
1
John Arminio

I can barely say the name "Rowsdower" without giggling. He brings mirth like Santa Claus, even if he smells like stale cigarettes and flat beer rather than sugarplums and roasted chestnuts.

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Andrew Brandt
1
Andrew Brandt

Rowsdower may have a conflicted past, but he ends up doing the right thing. Mitchell is a scumbag. The festive beeramid we would construct brings tears to the eyes!

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4 Seasons Total Landscaping's Head Arborist
1
4 Seasons Total Landscaping's Head Arborist

Does Mitchell rock a totally awesome jean jacket like Rowsder? Nay!

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Justin Wingate
1
Justin Wingate

Say what you can, at least he isn't Joe Don Baker.

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M Doyle
1
M Doyle

I want to find out if there’s beer on the sun. Rowsdower will get me there.

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Noble Lashley
1
Noble Lashley

I honestly couldn't decide. It just came down to the fact that it's more fun to say "Rowsdower"

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Zap Rowsdower
0
Zap Rowsdower

Have a drink on me tattoo

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Sean Baker
0
Sean Baker

We're gonna need a lot more beer...

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Bryan Kearney
0
Bryan Kearney

Cool jean jacket - I wonder if wears the full Canadian Tuxedo?

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Jeremy Hall
0
Jeremy Hall

Because he asks the hard hiring questions like... "I wonder if there's beer in the Sun."

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robot 'spooky' cat
0
robot 'spooky' cat

Sure, he may drink all my beer, but at least he won't bust me for smoking grass.

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Doug Breese
0
Doug Breese

Because Mitchell just oozes unpleasantness..

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Tina Likness
0
Tina Likness

I wanna know if there's beer on the sun.

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Aaron Noble
0
Aaron Noble

Canada's man of action. Their own Chuck Norris.

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Jeff Smalley
0
Jeff Smalley

Because of Mitchell's overbearing anti weed policy.

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Steve collosal
0
Steve collosal

we could go to the sun and drink beer together......

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Rich Macaulay
0
Rich Macaulay

Because Rowsdower, Rowsdower, Bibbity Bobbity Bowsdower...

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wendy graham
0
wendy graham

I would spend the whole day singing "Rowsdower Rowsdower" to him

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Gayle Gordon
0
Gayle Gordon

Could discuss beer on the sun

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Matt Olfson
0
Matt Olfson

I practically know Rowsdower's theme by heart! And fondly at that!

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Bev Westerberg
0
Bev Westerberg

I have no issues with back bacon whatsoever.

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Witecat Jer
0
Witecat Jer

He won't leave your bead smelling of baby oil and regret.

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Corey Core Grundstein
0
Corey Core Grundstein

Zap seems like he can hold his liquor. If I had to host an alcoholic, I'm not picking the sloppy drunk who has a gun lol

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Tony González
0
Tony González

He'd be outside most of the time smoking, so it'd be like he's not even over.

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N'EliG-G-GHOST!
0
N'EliG-G-GHOST!

I mean....it's Rowsdower!

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Mira Gutoff
0
Mira Gutoff

He'll get us that beer on the sun.

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Josh Brown
0
Josh Brown

Zap may be an out of shape, gruff old ass, but he's not as prone to violence without provocation as Mitchell. I feel like we could all just sit around drinking Crown Royal and have a good time. Mitchell would start a fight.

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NealyPlum Gamer
0
NealyPlum Gamer

I mean, once you hear about baby oil Mitchell... Ugh... Yeah Ros has my vote

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Graham Connor
0
Graham Connor

Excuse me...I’m Canadian!

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Aaron Noble
0
Aaron Noble

Maaan, I basically AM Rowsdower.

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Rick Halm
0
Rick Halm

Rowsdower will only drink my beer and pass out. Mitchell will shoot me.

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David Schmidt
0
David Schmidt

Rowsdower may not be cultured, but he's quiet and seems like he might bathe. You can practically smell Mitchell through the screen...

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Kerrin Dworkowski
0
Kerrin Dworkowski

We could talk about beer on the sun!

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Zachariah Mason
0
Zachariah Mason

Because i want him to drink something other than beer!!!

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CaptEoNinja83
0
CaptEoNinja83

My family and I LOVE this man!

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Andrew Thomas
0
Andrew Thomas

He’s lumpy, but he’s a nice guy. Mitchell’s too sleazy for me.

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MST3K
0
MST3K

Cult stories > cop stories

Reply
Which is the better episode?
MST3K Asked by MST3K
11/19/2021

Which is the better episode?

57%
Prince of Space WINNER

8

43%
Magic Voyage of Sinbad

8

57%
Prince of Space

Which is the better episode?
8 Comments
Philip Monihan
1
Philip Monihan

Hard pick, not gonna lie.

Reply
Mark Pergolizzi
0
Mark Pergolizzi

Prince of Space is one of my all-time favorite MST3Ks ever.

Reply
Sam Bissell
0
Sam Bissell

Prince of Space is a family favorite and we watch more than any episode, except for Samson vs the Vampire Women, which is pretty much tied with Prince of Space!

Reply
Shaun O'Leary
0
Shaun O'Leary

He's a prince. And of course i love chicken.

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Ryan Barker
0
Ryan Barker

Your weapons are useless against me!

Reply
Andy Knudsen
0
Andy Knudsen

I love both these Riffs, Prince of Space is just a tiny bit better.

Reply
Erik David Even
0
Erik David Even

Of all the MST3K episodes where Earth is invaded by chicken-men, this is the best. Also, I became a bootblack because of this film. I like it very much.

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William Lane
0
William Lane

Sinbad has no effect on this movie.

Reply

43%
Magic Voyage of Sinbad

Which is the better episode?
8 Comments
Will Blanchard
2
Will Blanchard

Love Prince of Space, but 505 is peak MST3K. Old-school style riff to be sure, but the warmth of the early years is in full bloom on this one with A+ sketches and even an in-theater stunt. Also, weird movie.

Reply
Llewellyn Buntminkey
1
Llewellyn Buntminkey

Russo Finnish madness!!! Wooohooo!!!

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Howard Kistler
1
Howard Kistler

He travels all over the world and discovers the best place is home. It doesn't get much more Thanksgiving than that.

Reply
Jason Tamez
0
Jason Tamez

I'm not gonna lie, I'd rather have a technicolor nightmare than a dull black and white space caper.

Reply
Wendy Coffin
0
Wendy Coffin

hard choice because both are in my top 10. I chose this though because EVERYTHING Joel says in this ep is absolute gold

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Paul S
0
Paul S

SOL-tie Award winning show!

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Rebecca Brawley
0
Rebecca Brawley

For me, it's an oldie but goodie.

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Victor Martinez
0
Victor Martinez

enjoy this one much more.

Reply
Which is the better episode?
MST3K Asked by MST3K
11/16/2021

Which is the better episode?

44%
The Brain That Wouldn't Die

13

56%
Prince of Space WINNER

30

44%
The Brain That Wouldn't Die

Which is the better episode?
13 Comments
Bruce Pullen
2
Bruce Pullen

Mike's finest hour. Ideally pithy and not too dour. The movie is something else yet the treatment beams through brightly.

Reply
Amy L. Sacks
1
Amy L. Sacks

"Mike is a very nice name."

Reply
Troy Sloan
0
Troy Sloan

You play this one less.

Reply
Robert Hornibrook
0
Robert Hornibrook

Cause its the first MST3k episode my wife ever saw.

Reply
Colleen Moriarity
0
Colleen Moriarity

This episode is far superior to Prince of Space.

Reply
Glenn St-Germain
0
Glenn St-Germain

Jan in the Pan! The monster in the closet! Horror and vintage slease in one tidy package.

Reply
Glenn St-Germain
0
Glenn St-Germain

Jan in the Pan! The monster in the closet! Horror and sleaze in one package!

Reply
Frank Gallagher
0
Frank Gallagher

I caught this movie on Creature Double Feature when I was way too young and it traumatized me

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John Judge
0
John Judge

There's nothing like a "hero" who makes all the wrong choices.

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Kim McAllister
0
Kim McAllister

A total MST classic!!!

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Nicole Castro
0
Nicole Castro

It doesn't get enough love. Been my #1 favorite for many years.

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LowKeeba
0
LowKeeba

“That’s not cheese” —Gypsy

Reply

56%
Prince of Space

Which is the better episode?
30 Comments
Philip Monihan
4
Philip Monihan

Your voting has no effect on me!

Reply
Adam Troy
1
Adam Troy

We like it very much!

Reply
Heather M Perkins
1
Heather M Perkins

Because he is the Prince. And he is of Space. And because I am a little tired of that other movie.

Reply
Amber Scaggs
0
Amber Scaggs

I find the ep funny as heck. And I like it very much.

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Charlie M
0
Charlie M

Because those makeup effects are soooo dreamy

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Ryan Nostrebor
0
Ryan Nostrebor

Mince, mince, mince...

Reply
John Abernathy
0
John Abernathy

Because not voting for Prince of Space, is for me, words that have no meaning. Though I just said them.

Reply
Matt Olfson
0
Matt Olfson

One of the all-time best and enduring episodes of MST3K!

Reply
Leah
0
Leah

I remember it being a lot of fun.

Reply
Ginger Fitts
0
Ginger Fitts

Oh! Ah! Prince of Space!!! Need I say more?

Reply
J. Lynn Else, Author
0
J. Lynn Else, Author

Vote for Prince of Space, or I'll throw my doll at you!

Reply
Matt Towler
0
Matt Towler

how many times must I say that I LIKE IT VERY MUCH

Reply
Robert Reimer
0
Robert Reimer

Because we like it very much.

Reply
Paul Moreau
0
Paul Moreau

WE LIKE IT VERY MUCH

Reply
David McDermott
0
David McDermott

His name is Prince of Space, and he is funky.

Reply
Doug Breese
0
Doug Breese

this experiment is why I add "ya scum" to the end of every sentence I utter... ya scum.

Reply
Mira Gutoff
0
Mira Gutoff

If Phantom Krankor cannot defeat the Prince, neither can Jan in the Pan.

Reply
Derek Smith
0
Derek Smith

I want in with the cool crowd.

Reply
Andy Knudsen
0
Andy Knudsen

Krankor over Jan in the Pan any Turkey Day!

Reply
Jason Tamez
0
Jason Tamez

Your neck juice cannot harm me, but scares the crap out of me anyway.

Reply
Kim VanHooser
0
Kim VanHooser

"Your weapons are useless against me! Har,har,har,har!"

Reply

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