Official SquareOffs Page of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Currently featuring the Turkey Day Tournament 2022! Your votes will decide four of the episodes shown on this year's Turkey Day Marathon.
Which person would you rather host for the holidays?
MST3K Asked by MST3K
2381 Votes

Which person would you rather host for the holidays?

Mitchell

17

Rowsdower

60

Mitchell

17 Comments
Denise Litostansky-Crawford
1
Denise Litostansky-Crawford

My, my, my Mitchell. He'll clean up all the leftovers.

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Robert Thomas The Tank Engine
0
Robert Thomas The Tank Engine

You know he's gonna have plenty of beer!

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Charles Ilardi
0
Charles Ilardi

As long as the beer holds out

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Mark Lucas
0
Mark Lucas

He's the host that will never get away from Pearl. If he drives the Satellite of Love like he does his car, it will be a cinch for her to bag her man....

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Brandon Casorla
0
Brandon Casorla

Mitchell is one bad mother

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Sherri Deman
0
Sherri Deman

My my my my favorite of all episodes!!! MITCHELL RULES!!!😂👏🏻😂👏🏻❤️❤️ I WANNA EEEEAT!!😩!…. BUT FOOD….😢

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Jeff Rohr
0
Jeff Rohr

I'm pretty sure this is Jack Black.

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Matthew Finch
0
Matthew Finch

Two words: Not Canadian Just kidding. He's just so lovable...

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Vega$ Chicken
0
Vega$ Chicken

From a guest standpoint he would probably be low maintenance as long as you had plenty of beer.

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Doc Gregory
0
Doc Gregory

It's Joe Don Baker, need I say more. My My My My Mitchell.

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Gordon Rhys
0
Gordon Rhys

He'll bring the Schlitz. Kiss of the hops, baby.

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Dee Schendel
0
Dee Schendel

I think Mitchell would be a chill drunk at the holiday celebrations & mildly entertaining. Rowsdower, probably an angry drunk, unpredictable with his PTSD because of that cult thing & kind of scary. I'm all into excitement, but not at Christmas.

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Wes Pledger
0
Wes Pledger

Mitchell! One of the first mst3k’s I ever saw!

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Brian John Davidson
0
Brian John Davidson

It would be easy to toss Mitchell out in the snow once the visit palled. Which would take about five minutes. I'd give him an orange for the journey.

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Alexandrea Cyril Niell
0
Alexandrea Cyril Niell

My, my, my, my house guest.

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Rowsdower

60 Comments
Vern Pike
3
Vern Pike

Do you want your house to smell like Canadian Bacon mixed with failure, or baby oil mixed with failure? Easy choice. Plus, Rowsdower brings with him a sidekick and a gaggle of BDSM cultists to liven up your evening. What has Mitchell ever done like that?

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Shelly Toscano
2
Shelly Toscano

Rowsdower wouldn't bust me for weed.

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Tom Blackburn
2
Tom Blackburn

He won't arrest you for smoking weeeeed!

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Ben
2
Ben

Denim, mullet, beer and a sidekick . Yeah this guy was built to save us all and the world!

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Marion Nanette Holmes
2
Marion Nanette Holmes

They are both unappealing, but I grew up in rural Maine in the woods, so I could deal with his rural Canadianness, and I would be up for map finding-behinding and a beer on the sun with Rowsdower.

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Opia R. Castle
2
Opia R. Castle

Rowsdower saves us and saves all the world. Mitchell just drinks, boinks, and yells at kids.

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Andy Pottschmidt
1
Andy Pottschmidt

I couldn't afford to feed Mitchel.

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Michael Seaman
1
Michael Seaman

It took him years, but he saved us and saved all the world. All while in a contestant beer haze. Mitchell can barely stop one drug kingpin while in a constant beer haze.

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James Brown
1
James Brown

Mitchell's a narc and i smoke pot. I dont feel like Rowsdower would judge me to hard on acount of his past in a cult and he would probably be a nicer host.

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sean grady
1
sean grady

We only have to deal with Rowsdower once. I would fear dealing with Joe Don morphing from Mitchell to Final Justice in my house. The sacrifice would be too great! 😂

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Brock Barber
1
Brock Barber

Kick back a few brews, beat up some evil cultists, talk about our boy Csonka, who could ask for more?

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Newt Calkins
1
Newt Calkins

Rowsdower brings his own beer. And being Canadian, he's naturally more fun in the snow.

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M'Hael Adam McMorgann
1
M'Hael Adam McMorgann

Rowsdower's rough around the edges, but at least he'd try to do right by the kids. Mitchell would show up with a cheap hooker and scream obscenities at the kids in the room

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Troy Wood
1
Troy Wood

Mitchell would eat all your food, do unspeakable things to your toilet, and then haul the entire family down to the station on Christmas morning for some minor infraction he noticed while snooping around the house for more gravy. All except for grandma... grandma has to walk. Bite me, Mitchell.

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John Arminio
1
John Arminio

I can barely say the name "Rowsdower" without giggling. He brings mirth like Santa Claus, even if he smells like stale cigarettes and flat beer rather than sugarplums and roasted chestnuts.

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Andrew Brandt
1
Andrew Brandt

Rowsdower may have a conflicted past, but he ends up doing the right thing. Mitchell is a scumbag. The festive beeramid we would construct brings tears to the eyes!

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4 Seasons Total Landscaping's Head Arborist
1
4 Seasons Total Landscaping's Head Arborist

Does Mitchell rock a totally awesome jean jacket like Rowsder? Nay!

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Justin Wingate
1
Justin Wingate

Say what you can, at least he isn't Joe Don Baker.

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M Doyle
1
M Doyle

I want to find out if there’s beer on the sun. Rowsdower will get me there.

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Noble Lashley
1
Noble Lashley

I honestly couldn't decide. It just came down to the fact that it's more fun to say "Rowsdower"

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Timothy Cook
0
Timothy Cook

His demeanor is more attune with the show.

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Zap Rowsdower
0
Zap Rowsdower

Have a drink on me tattoo

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Sean Baker
0
Sean Baker

We're gonna need a lot more beer...

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Bryan Kearney
0
Bryan Kearney

Cool jean jacket - I wonder if wears the full Canadian Tuxedo?

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Jeremy Hall
0
Jeremy Hall

Because he asks the hard hiring questions like... "I wonder if there's beer in the Sun."

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robot 'spooky' cat
0
robot 'spooky' cat

Sure, he may drink all my beer, but at least he won't bust me for smoking grass.

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Doug Breese
0
Doug Breese

Because Mitchell just oozes unpleasantness..

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Tina Likness
0
Tina Likness

I wanna know if there's beer on the sun.

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Aaron Noble
0
Aaron Noble

Canada's man of action. Their own Chuck Norris.

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Jeff Smalley
0
Jeff Smalley

Because of Mitchell's overbearing anti weed policy.

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Steve collosal
0
Steve collosal

we could go to the sun and drink beer together......

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Rich Macaulay
0
Rich Macaulay

Because Rowsdower, Rowsdower, Bibbity Bobbity Bowsdower...

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wendy graham
0
wendy graham

I would spend the whole day singing "Rowsdower Rowsdower" to him

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Gayle Gordon
0
Gayle Gordon

Could discuss beer on the sun

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Matt Olfson
0
Matt Olfson

I practically know Rowsdower's theme by heart! And fondly at that!

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Bev Westerberg
0
Bev Westerberg

I have no issues with back bacon whatsoever.

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Witecat Jer
0
Witecat Jer

He won't leave your bead smelling of baby oil and regret.

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Corey Core Grundstein
0
Corey Core Grundstein

Zap seems like he can hold his liquor. If I had to host an alcoholic, I'm not picking the sloppy drunk who has a gun lol

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Tony González
0
Tony González

He'd be outside most of the time smoking, so it'd be like he's not even over.

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N'EliG-G-GHOST!
0
N'EliG-G-GHOST!

I mean....it's Rowsdower!

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Mira Gutoff
0
Mira Gutoff

He'll get us that beer on the sun.

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Josh Brown
0
Josh Brown

Zap may be an out of shape, gruff old ass, but he's not as prone to violence without provocation as Mitchell. I feel like we could all just sit around drinking Crown Royal and have a good time. Mitchell would start a fight.

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NealyPlum Gamer
0
NealyPlum Gamer

I mean, once you hear about baby oil Mitchell... Ugh... Yeah Ros has my vote

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Graham Connor
0
Graham Connor

Excuse me...I’m Canadian!

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Aaron Noble
0
Aaron Noble

Maaan, I basically AM Rowsdower.

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Rick Halm
0
Rick Halm

Rowsdower will only drink my beer and pass out. Mitchell will shoot me.

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David Schmidt
0
David Schmidt

Rowsdower may not be cultured, but he's quiet and seems like he might bathe. You can practically smell Mitchell through the screen...

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Kerrin Dworkowski
0
Kerrin Dworkowski

We could talk about beer on the sun!

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Zachariah Mason
0
Zachariah Mason

Because i want him to drink something other than beer!!!

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CaptEoNinja83
0
CaptEoNinja83

My family and I LOVE this man!

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Andrew Thomas
0
Andrew Thomas

He’s lumpy, but he’s a nice guy. Mitchell’s too sleazy for me.

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MST3K
0
MST3K

Cult stories > cop stories

Reply
Which episode would you rather see on Turkey Day?
MST3K Asked by MST3K
10/1/2022

Which episode would you rather see on Turkey Day?

48%
Catalina Caper

7

52%
Horror of Party Beach WINNER

9

48%
Catalina Caper

Which episode would you rather see on Turkey Day?
7 Comments
Mary McDowell
1
Mary McDowell

This episode is a wonderful balance of energetic and dry. The riff deliveries are perfect in tone and cadence. The music in the movie ain't half bad either! I watch this episode to cheer myself up.

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Nathan Fisk
0
Nathan Fisk

Meh - still better than Party Beach.

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Kyle Stockton
0
Kyle Stockton

It's fun to watch people watch the movie get made.

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Ken Prasek
0
Ken Prasek

Creepy Girl! 'Nough said.

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Aaron Mastriani
0
Aaron Mastriani

Catalina Caper has been one of my favorite episodes since I first saw it!

Reply

52%
Horror of Party Beach

Which episode would you rather see on Turkey Day?
9 Comments
🌻just🎃chris🍂
2
🌻just🎃chris🍂

The things that don't happen in Party Beach are more interesting than the things that do happen in Catalina Caper.

Reply
Douglas Solberg-Bell
2
Douglas Solberg-Bell

SODIUM. There, I said it.

Reply
Jay Phelps
1
Jay Phelps

Because the Del-Aires need to be appreciated by today's generation for the musical juggernaut they were.

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Joseph Murdico
1
Joseph Murdico

It's a classic and is so campy!!

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Scott Armstrong
1
Scott Armstrong

This HAS to win! It's my desert island episode! Come on people, vote!

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Alex Flores
1
Alex Flores

Never invite Janis Ian to your slumber party!

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Kim VanHooser
0
Kim VanHooser

Sodium and Eullabelle...

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Amber Scaggs
0
Amber Scaggs

I don't know what to choose but I choose party beach

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MST3KaDay On Instagram
0
MST3KaDay On Instagram

Now it's down to the Winners vs. Winners rounds so we're going with the episode we enjoy more, "Horror of Party Beach" though it was a tough choice. "Creepy Girl" is hard to resist but ultimately "SODIUM!" won the day! "Sodium, won't you?" 😁

Reply
Which episode would you rather see on Turkey Day?
MST3K Asked by MST3K
9/29/2022

Which episode would you rather see on Turkey Day?

42%
Parts: The Clonus Horror

5

58%
Horror of Party Beach WINNER

16

42%
Parts: The Clonus Horror

Which episode would you rather see on Turkey Day?
5 Comments
One Opinion
1
One Opinion

This movie is one of the rare ones on MST3K: An actually decent movie!

Reply
William Lane
1
William Lane

Sodium. Arch-nemesis of the blood pressure of one Peter Graves, host of Biography. Which we will explore this week. On Biography.

Reply
Erik David Even
0
Erik David Even

I am a big fan of movies that were later ripped off starring Scarlett Johanson.

Reply
MST3KaDay On Instagram
0
MST3KaDay On Instagram

It's our favorite episode.

Reply

58%
Horror of Party Beach

Which episode would you rather see on Turkey Day?
16 Comments
Brian Jay
1
Brian Jay

One, and only one, character is dubbed for no reason! I mean, come on!

Reply
Dave (Comedy) Gold
1
Dave (Comedy) Gold

Every party I've gone to at the beach has been a horror.

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Jeff Pomaybo
1
Jeff Pomaybo

tough one.... but, sodium, of course!

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Heather M Perkins
0
Heather M Perkins

It's not as depressing as Parts. Also, I love me some sodium on Turkey Day!

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Matt T.
0
Matt T.

Exxon training videos are always great!

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Scott Armstrong
0
Scott Armstrong

My favorite episode. Period!

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MarkBergster
0
MarkBergster

The romantic leads are played by siblings, the monsters look ridiculous, I like being told to look Polish, I'm capababull of despising the drunks, and the riffs are magical. Also, sodium.

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Jay Phelps
0
Jay Phelps

For the actress whose entire dialog has been obviously redubbed.

Reply
Kim VanHooser
0
Kim VanHooser

Sodium and Eullabelle...oh, and 40 year old "teenagers" at a slumber party !

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Andy Hartmann
0
Andy Hartmann

Because, you ain't seen nothing 'til you see Tina swing. And that's some nothing.

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David Brian Dobbs
0
David Brian Dobbs

Um, sodium? Need I say more?

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Philip Monihan
0
Philip Monihan

It's the best episode that's come up in this pole.

Reply

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