Which of these classic "Weird Al" Yankovic songs is the better story-summarizing parody?

Which hair length looks better and why and how long/short of your answer should the length be?

Does the latest Sonic 2 trailer have you worried, or are you excited about seeing it?

Vintage game collectors: retro is expensive right now. Are you currently buying or selling games?

Which is (so far) the better series about this iconic duo?